


Stumble

by firstthoughtbestthought



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-19 20:00:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1482115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstthoughtbestthought/pseuds/firstthoughtbestthought
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*self harm* if you have triggers; don't read. or read at your own risk.. you know your limits i don't. heads up!</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ansel was one those people who always saw the beauty in things, He was always dreaming about thing bigger than himself and His imagination was extraordinary for his age.

When he was little he would tell his mom about owning a huge gallery where children like he and his 4 sister could display their work, he felt like some kids gave up on dreams because the teachers wouldn’t notice them. Which is all reality is true; Ansel wanted all kids to feel accepted into society like he did, even if meant dedicating his life to making a sort of “safe heaven” for the kids. Ansel didn’t have such a great childhood, when he turned 13 he started to get teased by his classmates because he was different and he knew understood why it was wrong to be gay. They kids at school weren’t exactly “pro-homo”, they were raise to believe in normality rather than free-will. He sometimes thought it was a phase, but he soon realized it wasn’t and he accepted himself and along with his family. He knew he couldn’t change, even If he wanted to so he didn’t let bother him.

That year he found a release: art. He started out just sketching words, quotes, then getting more and more skillful with his hand and experimenting with new lettering and characters, eventually, creating beautiful “master pieces”, as his mother called them, he sold for charity and to help his mom and sisters.

His eyes would light up every time his mom would buy him new graphite pencils to draw with. One Christmas when he was 14, his mother bought it him is first acrylic paint kit. It had 10 colors, and 12 different kinds of brushes and a couple canvas, he thought it was the most amazing thing he had ever held in his hands. He quickly fell in love with how the colors of the paint flow on the canvas. At times he would completely space out into his own little world he could escape to. He glided the brush around the canvas, forgetting completely what he started off envisioning. Swirling and twisting; mixing the colors he had on his palate. He loved the feeling on it all, he felt a sense of freedom, and he was free, free from everyone that ever bullied him. Free from every word people said beat him with; faggot, worthless, freak, disgusting, pathetic.

He felt like a burden to everyone; his friends, his family, everybody, for a while he felt like the reason his Father divorced his mother was because of him, so but when he painted he was free, he’s world was colorful again. All his worries vanished with a simple touch of a brush in his hands.

Ansel loved watching other artist paint and learning from them. He soon learned that every artist had their own story to share within their paintings. He saw the same spark in their eyes as Ansel’s mother saw in his. He was so intrigued by how the painted mixed their colors within their work, blending and creating magnificent, brilliant colors in their pallet. Every Thursday he had art class after school and he would literally itch to run home try out new techniques on his own. He stormed through the house, locking himself up in his room for hours on end until his mother has to force him downstairs for dinner.

Ansel eventually began painting “abstract” paintings. Which in all honestly looked like scribble and blotches of paint splattered in a weird washed canvas, but to Ansel is was much more. Every line, every dot, every smear meant something. He loves this style, he loved the freedom behind it, and there wasn’t any rules, no lines to follow. Everything was Ansel to makes, everything was his. He didn’t feel the need to please anyone, only himself.

By the time Ansel was out of high school he had sold over 25 paintings, giving half the money to local kid’s charities and investing the other half in a saving account for his gallery.

He knew he had a long ways to go so he got a job at a local coffee shop down the street from in apartment, it was small, cozy, but it kept busy and business was great. He didn’t mind walking from place to place, in fact he rather enjoyed the strolls but sometime when he was tired or it got to hot or cold, he used his skateboard his little sisters had bought him for his birthday the previous year.

 Ansel had worked for the shop for a couples years, barley making it; he had no time to paint, and had no inspiration. He doodled on occasion during his breaks, and whatever painting he did make didn’t sell like they used to. No one appreciated the art any more. Soon after realized he couldn’t compete with the new technology coming out he found himself in runt. Unable to create, or to paint…to be free and on top of everything he worked his hours away at the shop he had no time for himself anymore. Bills piled up on the counter and the saving account was running dry because of the recent low business at the shop. Sometimes he just wanted to paint his stress away but every time he tried he just ended up sitting there staring at the brush in his hands and then gave up altogether. When the paint started to fade, so did his happiness. He felt worthless, pathetic; everything he heard as a child suddenly becoming true to him. He never noticed, but eventually he didn’t go out as much as he used to, most of his friends had moved away and forgotten about him…

~

“Will that be all for you today Mrs. Daisy?” Ansel asked with a dimpling smile already knowing the answer.

“Yes, thank you Ansel, have a wonderful day young man.”, Mrs. Daisy was Ansel favorite customer; she was a soft spoken, charming elderly lady who seemed rather fond of Ansel as well.

She wanted no one but Ansel to make her coffee, although his cups weren’t the greatest she adored the young boy and wished him the best every day. She also saw something in Ansel even he hadn’t seen in himself yet. She left the shop with a smile and wave and he returned the favor.

Ansel loved the coffee shop sometimes, he felt safe there at times. He loved the sweet mixture of smell from the ground coffee beans and flavored creamer and the season specialty blend that month. His absolute favorite was autumn, he savored the sweet smell of hazelnut and pumpkin spice lattes he concocted for his costumers.

After the morning rush dyed down he cleaned the tables then sweep the floor then clean the kitchen. It was every day routine; his boss thought he was a robot at times because of how organized he was. Which was strange because one night when Ansel forgot him bag at the store, Easton had went to his house to deliver it and his house was so messy; papers and sweaters and tea cups everywhere.

Never the less Easton never questioned nor commented on Ansel weird behavior.

“Ansel, take five, it’s pretty dead”, a sky accented voice echoed though at back hall of the near empty coffee shop,

“alright Easton , you majesty” , Ansel shot a devilish grin to his manager standing at the door of his office, “ mind if I go next door?” , Ansel asked, already walking half way out of the shop.

“Yeah, that’s fine, just come back in time!! Oye!!” Easton practically fell on the floor tipping over form yelling out to Ansel, as if he was going to stop and listen.

“Yea, yeah sure, whatever you say boss!”

“Geez, kids…” Easton hid himself back into his hole for the rest of the evening.

~

 “James? James!” Ansel looked around for an oversized teddy bear but he was nowhere to be found. He noticed a box wrapped in brown tissue paper sitting on the counter with a note stick to it, “Ansel, I’m out to lunch. I think you’ll love this weeks surprised. Xx James.”

~

About a year ago, James bought out and old fashion boutique and in its place built an art supply store. James was fairly young, mid 20’s, quite fit but never the less a sweet gentlemen.

One day on the way to work Ansel had come across some construction, forcing him to go all the way around in order to make to the shop. As he turned to corner he noticed to shop. He would wander in sometimes to just to satisfy his curiosity, casually walking around the shop looking at different brushes and new colors he’d never seen before. He almost never bought anything, mostly graphite pencils and a new paint color that caught his eye but were soon to be left in a corner of his apartment, sadly waiting for the day when they’d be used.

After a few weeks of Ansel strange wandering, James attempted to make small talk and get a better feel of Ansel. Soon after James would pull things from the store Ansel looked at and put them in a box to give to Ansel has a gift every other month. Ansel insisted James keep the boxes but James insisted Ansel keep them for when he felt like he could put them to good use.

~

After Ansel was done buying some Prisma color pencils, he walked back over to the shop and continued his shift. He locked his new supplies in his locker and placed his apron around his neck, also tying the loose strings that hung from the sides around his body.  The store was still dead, by this time everyone was at work, students were school and everyone in between was at home sleeping. Ansel took his place on a stool behind the counter with his back to door because the sunlight reflecting of the mopped floor stung his eyes. He always pasted the time scrolling through his phone while playing music that he blasted through his headphones. He closed his eyes to the music, gently bobbing his head and humming along to the melodies of the song, he didn’t hear the chime of the door.

A young boy stumbled into the shop, “he-hel-llo? , the low , shaky voice asked.

Ansel didn’t respond to the young boy standing in front of the counter.

The young boy reached out his hand before instantly retracting it then deciding again to reach out and tap the older boy on the shoulder.

Ansel was startled at the touch he practically shot out from his seat onto his feet and turned around and looked at the boy. He was left completely in awe. He’d never seen a more beautiful human being in his life. The boys’ burnt brown curls’ glowed with a red tint from the sunlight that shined over them; it was the perfect complement to his light porcelain skin. Ansel’s world seemed to slow when he caught sight of the younger boy’s eyes. He had never in his life seen such a spine shivering shade of green.  His eyes even appeared to glow; they looked as if there was a never ending emerald color wheel spinning in his eyes, the deeper Ansel looked the more he noticed a ring of blue around the iris; the blue was almost identical of the color of Ansel’ eyes. Ansel was most intrigued by the boy’s tall lanky body; the boy’s upper torso was slim but muscular. He was wearing a black T-shirt with a hole on the neck with a large black over coat, which evening being that huge seemed two sizes too small. Ansel couldn’t help slightly bite his lip when he noticed to boys rosy pink lips. In Ansel mind the boy was the very definition of perfection. The boys’ smile was the worst; Ansel blushed deep red when the boy flashed a tiny grin, creating a dimple at the side of his mouth.

“OH! I’m so sorry!” apologized the young boy, “you couldn’t hear me and I …”

“No no no, I’m sorry,” Ansel said cutting him off, “I shouldn’t have had my headphones so loud. I’m terribly sorry about that sir.”

Ansel blushed at the boys dimpling smile felt his face turn white hot and the heat radiated over his entire body.

Before he melted all over the floor he decided with was best to take the boys order while his hands we still functioning.

“so. Um. Can I have a name for the order?”

“Emery, Emery Black.”, the boy answered.

“Alright Mr. Black and what can I get for you today?” Ansel nervously asked, surprised he managed to get a whole sentence out without fumbling over his words.

“I…um….I’dunno? I don’t normally drink coffee.” Emery mombled. His voice was soft and timid, yet low and rough at the same time.

“Well is there anything you’d like to try?” Ansel questioned in his mind why Emery would come to a coffee shop without ever drinking coffee before.

“Hm…Something sweet? Maybe?” Emery softly replied with a slight grin.

Ansel cheeks flushed bright pink again

“I think I’ve got just the thing for you, Emery.” Ansel said with a wink, “why don’t you take a seat all I’ll be out with for drink in a moment?”

“alrighty” Emery agreed, taking a seat at the back of the shop with barely any lighting shining though. Emery sat down a started to remove his coat; he quickly placed it back when he winced in pain. He grabbed his hip and bit his lip to fight back the tears. He carefully lifted his shirt to expose a small area of skin on his lower right hand side, near his hip. The bruise had grown since the night before and the color had turned from pinks and reds to solid blues and purples and everything in between.  He rolled his sleeve up slightly to expose the bruised hand print left behind on top of some scares. His eyes watered as he starred at the hand imprinted on his skin, replaying the course of events that led up to his sitting in dark chair in a coffee shop he had never been to. He didn’t even know how he ended there, but seeing as to him being homeless he didn’t really much care at this point.

He smells sweet scent of hazelnut crept around the corner and over to him.

“Extra creamy, one sugar, hazelnut cappuccino”, Ansel smiley present the coffee to Emery, “it’s one of my favorites, plus I love the way it smells. I hope you like it, if you don’t let me know and I’ll make you something else”

Ansel set the mug down on the table with a napkin lying beside it. 

“Here you go”, Ansel glances up at the boy and see’s the boy quickly trying to cover his hands and look up at him nervously

“Th-Thank you”, Emery whispers.

“mhm, let me know if you need anything.”

“I-I will,” Emery gave Ansel a forced half smile.

Ansel walked away and couldn’t help but notice to the strange sudden change in Emery’s mood. A few minutes ago he was flashing Ansel a dimpling smile, exposing his pearly white teeth and just now he looked like he had never smiled before in his life.

Meanwhile Emery sip’s his coffee and rubbing to the rim of the mug and watching the steam rise up and vanish within seconds of forming.

He was concentrated on forms that that mist would make, they intertwined between each other swirling against one another then becoming one in the same just before they evaporated into the air.

Emery snapped out of trance when he heard plates clink from behind the counter in the back kitchen.

 

He looked over and saw Ansel; he hadn’t noticed how pretty he was. Emery blushed when Ansel noticed him and waved back to him. He felt a tingle deep in his stomach, when he looked at Ansel. Even when he looked away he could still perfectly envision Ansel hair coming across over his glasses, and his hair creeping out on the sides of his beanie.

Emery had a thing for guys with blue eyes; he likes how they sparkled in sunlight or when a flash of a camera went off and the light reflected off the color and manipulated the shades.

He wondered how Ansel eyes would change, or if they would stay the same. He knew one thing; No change would make his eyes look any more magical than they already were. His thoughts of Ansel led to a slight grin that made its way to his face.

Emery stood up from his seat and walked over to the counter with a faint limp, and took out his wallet.

“ ’xcuse me, how much for the coffee?”

“oh, Don’t worry about it cutie, it’s on the house”, Ansel leaned over the counter and rested his chest on his arms smiling up at Emery, “just come back some time. Yeah?”

Emery couldn’t say no to Ansel angelic smile so he agreed to visit again, and then proceeded to walk away with a dimpling smile.

He walked out and a blast a cold air hit and he snuggled deeper into his coat and continued to walk down the street.

He eyes grew big and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he heard a deep, husky voice call over to him and stepped out from behind a parked car.

 “Emery, where do you think you’re going.” The voice low barked.

Emery turned to run but the man had already grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him into the car, locking the doors behind him.

“You’re going to be sorry you ran out.”


	2. Chapter 2

Emery starred out of the frosty car window as he bit down on red lips, desperately trying to hold back the stinging tear that fought to escape his eyes, his temple was pressed against the car door and with every breathe that escaped past his lips the ice frosted glass created a circle of steam at disappeared when he inhaled.

“Where the fuck have you been? Huh!” the man growled over to Emery, “you were probably out with sluts like yourself! I’m not enough for you. Nothing is ever enough for you, is it Harold.”

“No Killian, that’s not-“, Emery felt a sudden punch against his lips and whimpered at the sharp pain.

"I told you never to talk back to me!" Killian barked.

Emery clasped at his sleeve over his mouth, knowing full well sobbing would only make things worse. He dug his nailed into his wrist, scratching at the scares that had taken over his skin. He felt the absence of a blade releasing the pain from his body. All he wanted was to get home and lock himself away and just…breathe.

All he wanted was to breathe; he was so tired of being locked away by his boyfriend.

None the less was addicted, addicted to the man’s smile, and warmth. Killian was about the same height as Emery was he was built like horse; he had huge muscles and broad shoulders. He had been so kind to Emery for years and years, he took Emery in, gave him a home, gave him everything he needed and wanted. He gave him love. He remember what it was like when they first met, Emery was sleeping on street corners, he was a runway with nowhere to go, no money to take care of himself or to buy food or water. His only possessions were a camera, a couple of shirts and a small book filled with pictures in a tan leather backpack. Emery had put Killian on the highest pedestal and never thought twice about it. He tried everything he could to keep Killian happy but eventually he wasn’t enough. Killian was constantly angry with Emery, getting after him for the smallest things like not having the dishes clean or not  having his work shirts clean and ironed the way he liked him. Sometimes Emery was blind to see just how much Killian had changed. He thought everything was his fault, he always felt like he was letting Killian down. He felt like he need to repay Killian back but no matter how hard he tried it was never enough. Killian use to make Emery feel so safe, little did he know he would eventually need to feel safe from him. Emery knew he couldn’t leave even when if he wanted to, the one time he did try he ended up in the hospital with 3 rib fractures on his left side and a bruised rib cage on his right. Killian knew exactly where to hit so no one could see and Emery knew if let pain show it would get worse. Of course Killian told the nurses Emery had fallen down a flight of stairs and they had no choice but to accept his story and provide Emery with proper care and medications. Emery couldn’t see why Killian didn’t treat him the way he used to, but right when Emery had a reason to leave Killian came galloping back like a knight in shining amour on a silver white horse. Right after a horrible night of broken glass and terrible bruising, Killian always had a bouquet of flowers and a teddy bear equipped with “heartfelt” apology he wickedly came up for Emery to keep him within his cage. He knew just how to manipulate Emery’s heart string the way he wanted to.

Emery knew he should forgive him that easy. He knew it was wrong. He knew he would regret it, but he didn’t anyway. After all Killian gave Emery the world and as Killian always said, “No one will EVER love you like I have.”

Emery thought this was true; he didn’t have anyone until Killian and he thought no one else in the world could ever give him what Killian has given him.

~

Ansel lay in his bed with his eyes shut, with the room as quite as it was he listened to the deep signed of his breath inhaling the cool breeze of the room and exhaling the warmth of his body into the fall leaf scented atmosphere that illuminated from a candle burning on the night stand beside the bed. He had been thinking of the boy who had wandered into the shop that day. He was curious was to why the boy seemed so fragile. He couldn’t take his mind of the boy everything he tried to think of retraces back to Emery. After the boy had left Ansel had a hard time focusing, he spaced in and out of reality all day. He kept replaying the first second he turned around to meet Emerys’ glistening eyes. He doodled the same pair over and over that evening. Ansel regretting not getting Emerys’ phones number, all he wanted that night was to hear his sweet silky deep voice. He wondered to himself if Emery would ever return and what he would say if he ever did.

He felt an icy swirl of nervousness coated with warm tingling lust overcome his body, He’s never felt this way he thought to himself. He began to question himself if he should even be thinking this way about a person he only sent 5 minutes talking to. He didn’t know what it was about the boy that pulled him in so much but he knew he wanted to know more.

Later that night Ansel found himself actually using the supplies he bought that day, he shuffled thought the huge storage container he had put all of Bryans’ gift in until the every pencil and paint bottle were scattered in the hall way. He found a box of colored pencils and took out every shade of blues and greens he could find. His doodles from earlier in at the shop became full blow, colored master pieces. He spent an entire 3 hours sketching and coloring in the shades of green eyes that were embedded into his brain.  He stepped back to see his finished art work and it was like he was staring at the green pearls all over again. He untapped the paper from his desk and found a silver picture frame with filigree surrounding the edges of the frame to place the picture in and hung it up alongside his wall of abandoned paintings. From that moment on all he drew was eyes; he was obsessed with them in a sense. It was completely innocent, but he couldn’t stray from them. They were completely branded into his mind; he had to get them back, he had to see them again. The only problem was he didn’t know if he ever would.

~

“Ansel!” a high raspy voice called from the kitchen, “I need a hand back here!”

“What is it Naomi?” Ansel replied in a playful tone.

Naomi was new to the shop as well new to the city. She was an aspiring writer from Sweden who had decided to go out and travel to find inspiration. She was walking through the city when she came across the coffee shop and saw a “help wanted” sign hanging from the door of at the entrance. Michael was short on staff so as soon as she asked if he was still hiring he took her offer right away. She had been moving from place to place so long she felt like she needed to slow and down and stay up for a while. She was a sweet girl but just like Ansel she lost her “thing”, as Ansel called it. She also suffered from mild depression but just by looking at her, you couldn’t tell. She was strong, witty, intelligent young lady and over years and years of suffering she learned how to hide her sadness and fake smiles. Ansel was in need of a roommate and he was convinced she was perfect. His knew it was dangerous to invite someone into his home so soon but she proved she was worth the risk. Ansel quickly picked up on her lack of genuine smiles; he too had mastered the art of making everyone see around your problems and knew right away this girl had a past. She never told him exactly what her past was and he respected her. She was the perfect roommate, She cleaned , cooked, loved Disney movies, drank whatever Ansel made her, she also was very accepting of the fact Ansel was gay, so that made Ansel ecstatic about her. They had become so close in a short amount of time they were almost joint at the hip, they helped each other when they’re emotions acted up and pushed each other to keep going when the other thought there was nothing to go on too.

“You know if you keep calling me over every 5 minutes I’m might just have to kick you out of MY apartment”, Ansel chuckled out.

Naomi sassily signed back at Ansel rolling her eyes and sending a sweet devilish look over to Ansel as he walked over to her.

“And do YOU know I can take your glasses and you’ll be blind forever and you’ll never make it back to OUR apartment.” She said, jokingly poking at Ansel black square framed glasses.

“Whatever”, Ansel giggled back at her, “what do you need darling?”

“The Coffee maker isn’t working and we’re all out of cream and soap for the mugs and tea cups, Michael said to go down to the store card and go buy supplies.”

“Oh alright,” Ansel grabbed the card and walked to the back of the bakery to grab his jacket.

He walked back over to the front door and slipped his little arms through the sleeves of his coat, letting it drape around his body. He pulled his beanie lower to cover his ears and began to walk outside. He felt a sharp sting from the blistering cold wind smack against his face and he shivered deeper into his coat. He pulled the collar of his coat up to cover his neck and mouth and started to walk down the street to the a little grocery store on the corner.

As he walked Emery’s eyes kept coming back to his mind, he couldn’t shake the look he got from Emery that day... it was innocent yet broken. Ansel couldn’t put his finger on it but he knew something was wrong.

They seasons were changed faster than usual, the weather was getting was colder and colder as the days went by. Ansel missed September but he was extremely excited for October, mostly because it was his birthday and his favorite holiday; Halloween. He walked down the street and noticed the stores were beginning to get in the spirit of October; different stores hung decorations in the windows of their shops. Ansel smiled a little boy who was searching for a costume just outside one of the stores, he waved at the little boy when he noticed the boy looking at him, he boy smiled and created a cratering dimple low on his cheek, he giggled over to Ansel and yelled, “hi!” with a high pitch baby voice. When he passed by the boy he patted his head and kept walking only turn around after a few steps to wave goodbye with a shining smile.

Ansel made to the grocery store and started to look for the supplies on the list Naomi had given him, he went through the aisles checking off each item from the list. He made his way down to the candy aisle and was looking through the shelves for some ground up pepper mints and chocolate chips, when he heard a voice rising from the other end of the aisle. Ansel looked up to see what the fuss was about, and something familiar sight caught his attention; a tall lanky lad with a huge long trench coat with luscious curls dripping from the back of his neck out of his beanie. He blinked his eyes, making sure they weren’t playing tricks on him but he knew they weren’t. He knew it was Emery.

A man was yelling at Emery but Ansel couldn’t hear exactly what the man was saying, but he knew it probably wasn’t something nice by the way his face was turning red and his veins were almost popping out of the side of his neck. The man slammed a package of cookies into their cart and stormed off, leaving Emery standing in the aisle with his face in his hands obviously on the verge of tears. Ansel walked over completely forgetting about his list, but in that moment I didn’t matter, all we wanted to know is that Emery was alright.

“E-Emery?” Ansel.

 

 “A-are you ok? Who was that guy?” Ansel asked.

 

Emery looked up and saw Ansel gentle face starring down that him. He tried to speak but no sound was coming from his mouth, so he frantically shook his head as his eyes filled with tears.

 

 "No, stop! Don’t cry!” Ansel wrapped him arms around Emery, rubbing his back with small circles, “shhh…shhh love its ok.”

 

Ansel held Emery with a tight squeeze just before he stepped back and lifted Emery’s chin up with two fingers and whipped his tears away with the other hand.

“shhh...you’re ok now,” Ansel smiles at Emery, waiting for Emery’s eyes to reconnect to his.

Emery’s breath was shaky and he was almost hyperventilating, but the touch of Ansel hand controlled him.

“Th-thank you, I-“, Emery stepped around from Ansel and ran his hand though his hair pushing the wet fringe out of his face. He sank his face into his hands and rubbed his face against them.

Emery tried to create a sentence but nothing was forming, “I’m f-fine, r-really.” Emery voice was breaking with every word of his lie.

“I –I have to go, goodbye Ansel.” Emery said with a brittle voice. He ripped his body from Ansel embrace and tried to get away has fast as he could before Killian had a chance to see him but Ansel caught hold of his forearm.

“Wait! Emery-“

Emery cried out in pain as Ansel grabbed his arm, Killian has recently gotten a dent in his brand new Mercedes and had taken it out on Emery that evening.

Ansel let go as soon as he realized Emery was in pain.

“What’s wrong? Oh god! Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to, Emery I’m sorry.” Ansel apologized over and over until he knew Emery was alright.

“You didn’t hurt me Ansel,” Emery muttered ripping his arm back from Ansel’ grasp, “I’m fine.”

“H-Emery? Um… can I” Ansel gulped, “well I was just wondering if we cou-“

“I can’t Ansel, you’ll see me soon as I can get away,” Emery rushed outside and walked out into the street , disappearing into the crowd.

“What the fuck just happened?” Ansel thought to himself.

“Get away? Get away from what?” he questioned.

Ansel looks down at the abounded cart; He noticed a white box at the bottom of the cart, covered by groceries.

“bruise cream?” Ansel thought it was strange for Emery to be buying bruise cream. Ansel decided not to look anymore into it, considering he knew next to nothing about Emery so he shouldn’t be making such outrageous assumptions but still kept a curious mind about it.

Ansel returned to the unattended cart at the other end of the aisle, looking around to see if the other man had come back to check on Emery about he saw no one. Other than an elderly couple buying ice cream for their grandchildren, Ansel was the only person in the store. He gathered the remaining items on the list then rushed to the check out and almost sprinted to the shop.

~

Ansel crashed through the front doors of the shop, trying to catch his breath on his way to drop the bags in the kitchen floor.

“NAOMI!” Ansel searched around the shop for his roommate.

“God, what do you want know!” Naomi yelled from the kitchen.

Ansel jumped on the counter, grabbing a banana nut muffin and biting into it.

“Guess what?” Ansel looked over at her with big sparkling eyes.

“What Ansel? Tell me about your fairytales and knights riding on white horses”, Naomi giggled over to Ansel, “I’m kidding lou, what’s up?”

“You dick head,” Ansel mockingly sassed back at her. He looked down at his muffin and mombled “I-I saw him today”

“Yeah, that’s what happens Ansel, you go out, you see men.” she snickered to herself.

She looked up at him and saw a concerned look on his face and noticed he was fidgeting with his fingernails.

“Did you talk him? She asked.

“No. Well yes. Ugh. It was weird. He was getting yelled at by this guy and then the stupid guy left and Emery was crying and I tried to calm him down but he kind of ran away? I was so confused, I swear I was in movie and I wanted to help but he just didn’t let me? I tried to ask if I can we see again or get his number and he told he would as soon as he got away? The hell does that mean? Get way.” He picked his head up and sighed out a deep breathe he didn’t know he was holding.

“whoa! Uh, breathe? You kinda need air to speak, love.” Naomi lovingly placed her hand on Ansel knee, “hey, be patient. He’ll come by. I promise.” she gave Ansel a warm smile, “who would ever turn your beautiful face down. Huh love? ”

Smiled and pulled Naomi in for a hug. After second she pulled away, “Eww stop touching me, I don’t like you. Get back to work rainbow!” she flashed him a slight grin and got back to baking the muffins.

Ansel gave her a slight push before heading to the front of the store and taking his place on his stool, blasting his music away. He couldn’t stop thinking of how Emery looked to scared of the man yelling at him. It all felt like a wild dream that happened so fast he couldn’t think of where to start analyzing what had happened. He keeping of Emerys’ face, how it was so fragile and sweet. Ansel didn’t know how someone like Emery could be with someone like the man he saw.

~

“KILLIAN STOP!!” Emery cried out in pain as Killian pounded into his stomach with each punch Emery felt another rib fracturing, one after the other after the other. Emery grabbed at his throat despondently trying not to throw up.  “Stop Killian! stop! Please…” Emery tried to stop his boyfriend from pounding into his sides with every ounce of muscle he had. He covered his face with his hands while his back was pressed against the wall and his legs were curled up to his chest.

“You’re embarrassing! Look at your stupid scars. Do you know ridicules it feels when people look at me with a sour face when they see those stupid markings on your arm? Huh?”, Killian kicked Emery once last time, “Get yourself cleaned up and be down stairs for dinner in five.” Killian walked out of the room leaving Emery a blabbering mess. He lifting himself from the bedroom floor and hobbled over to the bathroom. He stood and the sink with his hands planted firmly against the marble counter, he turned on the facet and stuck his hands though the warm water. He leaned over to balance his weight between his legs and the flat surface of the sink. He cupped his hands and collected water to wash of his fast but instead something caught is. He saw the steam rising from water to the tip of his wrist and on forth to his forearm before disappearing. He remember the smell of bitter sweet scent of roasted coffee beans and the all too familiar of hazelnuts creep into his mind. He shut his eye and remembered the boy who helped him, he remembered his benevolent smile. Emery smiled when Ansel bright blue eyes came into his mind, when he first saw them he wanted to rip off Ansel glasses when completely expose the beautiful shine of his eyes, almost like a faint flash from the camera. He forced himself to stray from the his sudden thought of that stranger to wash up then started to head to the kitchen where Killian was seated at the head of the table.  He walked over the kitchen and gathered all the food and he had been preparing before Killian had started yelling at him. He placed the bowls of food on the tables and scampered back for plated and cutlery. He placed a silver plate which had white silver filigree around the edges of it. Emery had especially ordered these plated for Killian’s birthday a couple years ago, and come to think of it Killian didn’t hurt Emery that week. He gently places a spoon, fork and knife down beside the plate and continued serving to the table with drinks. After he was done catering to Killian he sat himself down and ate. As usual after they ate the laid on the sofa and watched a movie before bed. Emery always liked this part of the evening because Killian’s anger had calmed down and was back to normal. Killian wrapped Emery in his lifting him onto his lap and kissing Emery’s cheeks and telling him for sorry his was and that he wouldn’t do it again but of course Emery wasn’t stupid he knew it would. On the contrary, maybe he was, there was a part of Emery that deeply wished and hoped Killian would change but he thought he loved Killian and Killian loved him back, _because No one will EVER love him like Killian has._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *self harm* if you have triggers; don't read. or read at your own risk.. you know your limits i don't. heads up!

It was late one evening, 6 o’clock to be exact; Ansel had just gotten home from a long, busy day at the coffee shop, tossing his bag on the sofa and kicking off his shoes beside the door. He walked into his bedroom and lit the candle beside bed, on the nightstand then shuffled over to his desk, removing his white buttoned work shirt and slipping through a grey jumper and changing his pants for some sweats. He spun the chair at his desk so he could take a seat, plopping down like a baby bird, bringing his legs up to sit criss-cross. He searched though the drawers beside the desk for the Prisma color pencils he bought a few weeks prior and finally found the black tin box at the bottom drawer, pulling it up and placing it on the corner of the desk, opening the lid and tossing it onto the bed leaving more room for him to turn the paper if he needed too, then shuffling though the supply filled drawer for his set of graphite pencils. 

Ansel reached out to open a tiny red chest at the corner of his desk, carefully opening the lid as if he were touch it the wrong way the chest would dissolve away. Inside of the chest was a small, bronze key, this key opened a built-in drawer under the desk, Ansel had many secrets he liked to keep away so he thought he would put this drawer to good use over the years. He was sure no one would ever find out it but then again he never had anyone to keep secrets from. He didn’t have any friends beside Naomi and James, and James had never come over and as for his roommate Naomi; she was a quiet, respectful young lady, she knew her boundaries and never dared to cross them, she always understanding towards Ansel as well. She knew he liked to keep curtain things to himself and allowed that secrecy.

Ansel slipped the key into the lock hole and carefully turned it, making a click sound then pulled out the drawer and inside was a thick black hard cover book. This book is where Ansel vented everything; his dark secrets, his happy ones, his dreams and most recently; the bright green eyes that came across him in the coffee shop. Ansel wasn’t obsessed with Emery’s eyes, well he was but not a sick away, he loved his eyes, he loved the colors in them, and he loved how the light changed the tones and structure of the colors, almost making them completely different from the previous second. Emery’s eyes ignited the very spark Ansel’ needed in his creative life, he gave Ansel’ a purpose again, something to look forward to …he gave him Hope.

Ansel pulled the book out of the door and set it on the desk, opening it to the first free page he found. He reached to the box of graphite pencils and picked the softest blend and began to sketch an outline of a pair of eyes. He swerved his wrist around a small section of the paper to create the almond shaped object and retraced the lines he thought were fit enough for the piece. Once he had the outline drawn, he grabbed another pencil, only this one was a bit darker than the last, he darkened the main curves of the eyes and the upper eye lid and the moved to the pupil and blackened the middle, smearing some of the graphite around so the iris could have some base shade. Ansel darkened the outer ring the iris making it stand out then repeating it on the other side, creating the other eye with a loving, warmth look as if it was Emery, himself. Ansel took his eraser and created a shine in the eyes, making it look more realistic, drawing the box sort of shade that rode over one side of the iris and the pupil. He packaged away the pencils then reached over to grab the Prisma colors and picking out every shade of green and some blues and laid them down in the top of the paper, arranging them from lightest to darkest. Ansel was very impressed by the softness of the colors, he liked how the colors blended by themselves and faded between shades. Ansel reached for a sea green pencil and colored in the iris of the drawing, alternating directions in which he held the pencil, making sure to cover the grey base layer. He then exchanged the light for a darker forest green and shaded the outer ring of the eye, not crossing the black line of the iris. After he blended the dark green with the soft green, he reached for a blue and began to color the inner most layers of the iris, creating a ring of cool, ocean water effect blending the light blue with light green and if they were made for each other, Seamlessly, fading between each other creating a perfect mixture of green and blue that had ever been made. Lastly, he took the dark blue and surrounded a thin layer of deep blue around the iris blend it along the edges with his finger, then taking a blending tool from the top drawer and rubbing it against the colors mixing them furthermore, and blending the hard edges. Ansel straightened his back from his slouched over position he had been in from trying to get a better look at the eyes, resting his head in his waist while his elbow rested in the table supporting his head and looked at the drawing from afar. Something was missing, he thought, he reached for a yellow pencil and make tiny streaks on the inside of the blue rings. The drawing didn’t quiet seem right to him, he searched the middle drawer. Pushing aside little boxes and pouches  and found a small bag of nude colored James had given him a few months before, bring up to the light and dumping them out onto the table for better observation. He found three pencils he though would satisfy his need to make the drawing perfect. Ansel picked up the lightest skin tones and began to fill the empty spaces between the eyes giving the piece a natural feel; he then took the next shade and drew the bridge of the nose, the slight tired bags underneath the eyes, and the light highlights over the cheekbones, Then taking the final darkest color and shading in the creasing of the nose and sides of the temple. He snapped his fingers, and then searched for a dark brown in the tin box beside his drawing. When he found the right shade he make little tilted dashed lines across the top of each eye, then filling the space between the lines, using his finger to blend and soft the hard marks.

Ansel placed all the pencils back in the respected cases and packed away all the supplies he had brought out, putting each box in back in its drawer. He sat back at his chair staring at the drawing. Everything he saw in Emery, he saw in this drawing. He leaned further back in his chair as his he was trying to escape from the piece of paper that lay in front of him. He tilted his head slightly and squinted his eye’s a bit.

“What are you hiding, Emery styles?” he whispered to himself.

~

Emery sat on the bathroom floor, shaking, whimpering as the hot steaming tears feel from his eyes. Killian was going to be gone for a few weeks and Emery stayed at home to ‘take care of the house’ as Killian instructed him to do so. Emery didn’t mind Killian taking off for days, even a much a weeks at a time, it give him time to himself, gave him time to breathe. The only thing Emery didn’t like was that angry voicemails and text messages he would get from Killian.

 Emery stood to the sink cabinet and reached for a small blade that was hiding under a can of shaving cream on the top shelf, then collapsing back on the ground and almost slamming his back to the wall and slowly sinking back to the ground.

“You’re pathetic”, he remembered the deep, hulking voice say to him, as he sliced the first cut into his sweet, doll-like skin.  The first cut was always the best for Emery, it made the stress and pain just melt away. Small droplets formed at the ends of the cut, dripping down like broken faucet and trickled down his arm like calm steam after a harsh storm.

“You can’t EVER do anything right. You always fuck up!” he kept replaying in his head, cutting the next two into his wrist, exhaling as his breath shuttered in ecstasy, then inhaling an icy chill breath that sent chills down his spine.

Emery cut five more times before becoming light headed and holding the blade became too much for him, he looked down and saw his wrist covered in warm red, steams of bliss flowing from his body. He grinned as he saw small mists of black smoke rise from the slits up into the air. The black smoke swayed and swirled between each other, almost dancing; dancing away with his demons and misery.  Emery reached for the black smoke with his clean hand, watching how the smoke vanished as he waved his fingers though them. Emery knew that when Killian got back and saw the scare he’d be angry, but in that moment he didn't care. He was free, free from Killian, free from the screaming and shoving and the pound against his fragile body. Nothing in the world could make him happier , but in that thought, a familiar face crept into his mind, he saw a warm, gentle smile come in flashes before his eyes, the shine of the dark, metallic glasses beamed at him like a lighthouse overlooking the sailors arriving to shore, guiding them to safety. He closed his eyes and pictured the sweet face that welcomed him at the coffee shop, such a charming, beautiful lad, with the most amazing, pure sense of peace and calm radiating from his being. Emery didn’t feel pain anymore, he hadn’t cut in months and it felt good, it felt really good. He felt relief, but he soon felt a deep regret his relapse

Emery looked down to see that his blood began to thin and his head began to feel a bit woosy and slothful, he stood himself up, waddling in his place as he leaned against the wall, trying to regain strength. He struggled to keep the his weight of his body up , huffing a breath and stumbled over to the sink, leaning half way over it for better support. He looked up for a moment and caught sight of himself. Emery stared at the stranger in the mirror, his eyes were wiry and exhausted, a tint of red and pink filled the white in his eyes and the lids were too heavy to hold up further than half way and the color of His face was paper white and almost transparent. He looked at his eyes in the mirror, almost breaking down into tears as soon as he realized just what had happened in that restroom. He reached for the facet and turned on the water to a warm and stuck his Hand under it, letting the water faded the blood away with its soothing warm current. He let out a deep sign and tilted his head back in relief, tears streamed down his face into his hair, he looked back to himself in the mirror but didn't see himself and to his surprise he didn't see Killian either, he saw Ansel; Ansel the boy he just met, Ansel the boy who he only talk to twice, Ansel the boy who made his world completely stop in it's horrible spiraling tracks and made it shine brighter than it ever has. Ansel face had a deep concerned and pleading tearful eyes look on it and in all honestly it made Emery sick to his stomach. When Killian looked at Emery scares, he felt different, Emery felt annoyed and belittled when Killian would yell and scream at Emery about how stupid he was for "craving so much attention" from people, it sickened Emery, it made his stomach twist and turn, it felt like his insides were desperately trying to crawl out of his skin, But when he saw Ansel face in the mirror he felt like he might actually help him, like he might actually be there for Emery like Killian use to. Emery looked in Ansel’ eyes and saw warmth, love…hope. He found it stranger how someone he barely knew would creep into his thoughts like no one he ever knew, but he absolutely loved it.

He turn the facet off and took a towel from the rack to clean and dry his arm, wrapping it around and slugging over to the bed, wrapping the think duvet over his cold, icy body. He sat with his back against the headboard with his head slung back, his breathe was slow and swallow, his chest rose and fell so softly. Emery’s face cringed at the sudden pain of his wrist, he felt the cold, October air gliding against it, he felt more cuts begin to form but as soon as he looked down there was nothing, nothing but his own marks, and slashes. He sobs into his blanket, covering his face, hiding from someone that wasn’t even there at that moment. His broken breaths and chocked sobs filled the room for hours before Emery’s body collapsed on the bed, forcing this mind to break from his evil thoughts and give him some rest.

~

Soft clinks of tea cups filled the room as Naomi set the cups underneath the counter on the shelves.  She was alone at the shop that day, Ansel was waiting on the cable guy to come over and Michael had a date that night, so he took a day to groom himself and do a little shopping. After she was done organizing the mugs and she sat the front counter and brought out her favorite book to read, it was dead that day so she really had nothing else to do, he cleaned the kitchen, mopped the floor, washed all the dishes, organized the coffee bags, organized the creamer and still had hours left of work.

Her nose was stuck so deep into her book, she didn’t hear the chime of the door ring and a young man walked to the front desk.

“ehm, hello?” said the deep slow voice.

Naomi peaked over her book to see if she had been imagining things or if someone was really speaking to her, “OH! I’m sorry, the shops kind of slow today, I’m so sorry for ignoring you.” She apologized to the curly haired beauty standing in front of her.

“I-Im Emery… I-Is …umm Ansel, around?” he timidly asked her.

“Oh! So you’re the infamous Emery?” she looked at the boy head to toe, explaining every inch of the boy slender, lanky body.

She looked back up to meet his eyes, “he’s not in today, he’ll be back tomorrow”, she responded in some-what an apologetic tone.

“oh, okay”, Emery’s head slightly hung involuntarily, “thank you anyway.”, Emery threw her a slight smile and turned to walk away, taking one step before he heard Naomi call out to him again.

She had noticed a purplish mark on his neck when his scarf shuffling from him fixing his coat, peaking out just enough for her to connect the dots.

“Wait, Emery! Um, I know he’s been waiting to see you”, she scribbled their address on a receipt paper and handed to Emery, “here, down the street a left , a right and a block straight, there’s some pink flowers in the window you can’t miss it.”, she instructed handing the piece of paper over to him

 

Emery smiles and thanked her, practically skipping out of the warm, bitter sweet scented coffee shop.


	4. Chapter 4

Emery walked down the pale grey sidewalk, looking down at his feet as he took a step, trying not to step on the cracks and grinned every time he took even stepped from one crack to the other. “Left”, he whispered looking both ways when crossing the street and slightly jumping off the curb and on to the street and doing the same when he reached the other side and began to walk down the sidewalk. “Right”, he mombled to himself, leaning against the traffic pole, waiting for the lights to change so he could cross. “A block straight”, he thought as he felt his stomach swirl into a knot. He chest felt cold and frozen, he slowed down to catch his breath and to calm himself down.

“The fuck is wrong with you styles, pull yourself together”, he told himself then turned the corner and realized he came to the street where the neighborhood started. He walked down the street, looking at each window and searched for the pink flowers Naomi said would be hung in the window. He came to the end of the block and didn’t see any flowers; he stood for a second and placed his hands on his hips, looking around in confusion. He let out a sign ad began to walk back in to direction he came, but when he looked up he smiled and almost stopped dead in his tracks.

He saw Ansel sitting on the couch, watching TV and walking over the stepped and got to the first step and stopped. Emery looked at the door and his felt his heart sink into his stomach, he stepped of the stair and tapped his fist on the railing twice, before turning in his heels and stepping out to walk away. Emery didn’t know what he was thinking going over Ansel’, he couldn’t find a reason why he would just up and go visit a stranger, regret consumed is mind and soon he changed his mind and walked away.

Emery didn’t know why or what possessed him to come to see Ansel at the shop let alone get his address from his roommate and be standing at the stairs of his doorstep. He had probably had forgotten about Emery, or so he thought. Killians’ face came to Emery’s mind, and made him shutter, and the unimaginable thought he would ever find out that Emery had come to another man’s house while he was gone had him rattled. He wasn’t even allowed to look at other men, but Ansel wasn’t just another man, he was THE other man. He was the other man had led Emery astray from his beloved prison guard boyfriend. Emery knew it wasn’t going to end well either way he’d end up hurt, but the trill of defiance consumed his judgment. He desperately wanted Ansel, he wanted to know him, and he wanted to know what he was like but the dark cloud of Emery’s low self-confidence hit him hard, once again assuming Ansel hadn’t remembered him nor cared too.  His courage slowly fainted and he was back to thinking he didn’t have a chance with the bright blue-eyed beauty, imagining the worst possible things, for both, Ansel and himself. He could handle hurting himself or Killian hurting him; he’s done it for years, but by no mean could he handle someone else getting hurt by his own selfish want. So, he decided that he would hold off on reaching out to Ansel, smirking up at the door then turning to walk away.

Emery had only taken a few steps before he heard a soft, high voice call his name, and he turned back, wide eyed and saw Ansel stand in the door way with purple and green pajamas and shirtless, holding a big white trash bag. His beanie sat firm on his head, yet also looked like it ready to fly off with the first gust of wind that blew by.

“Emery?”, Ansel smiled as he walked down the steps, and setting down the trash bag next the stairs, carefully leaning it against the pole so it wouldn’t tip over and spill.

“Uh, Hi! I was just taking a walk and I …. Hello”, Emery quickly made an excuse and blushed at the sight of the older boys’ eyes shining at it him and he looked up and the sun light reflect the blue pigments in them and back out to Emery. Ansel looked different; he had light brown hair that faded down to red as it swooped across his forehead and slightly over his glasses.

Emery almost didn't recognize him with the lip piercing and the tattoos that covered his chest and arms.

He had a huge ship in his right arm and a swallow on his forearm, companied by a bunch of little weird tattoos on the inside if his arm and some words plastered across his chest, Emery couldn't see what they said, Killian had stepped on his glasses during last evenings escapade, it always seemed to need with something broken. He squinted his eyes to see who had called out his name and saw that it really was Ansel, secretly he had no doubt, how could he forget that voice, but the boy he saw that moment was different from the boy he saw at the coffee shop, and to Emery surprise he liked both.

Something about the punk excited him, he could practically feel his face making heart eye as he saw the old boy’s abs and bicep muscles pop as he lifted the heavy trash bag.

“It’s Cold, why are you walking around?” Ansel asked.

“Well it’s a beautiful day, don’t you think?” Emery replied with a cheeky smile, glancing up at the light shining thought the trees then back at Ansel.

“Yeah, it is”, Ansel answered, “would you like some coffee?” Emery nodded, biting his lip and followed Ansel up the stairs and into the apartment. “Welcome to my crappy apartment”, Ansel said as he welcomed Emery, standing beside the door waiting for Emery to pass though so he could close it because Ansel was bare foot and his little toes were getting a little cold due to the cold October air outside.

“It’s nice, I like it”, Emery smiled as he looked around at all the painting Naomi had hung in the living room and in the hall way leading to the bed rooms.

“Did you Paint these?” Emery asked without breaking focus of a painting of a river that hung directly over the couch.

The painting was a wide view of an icy creek with winter trees along the sides of the frozen water on one side. There was snow on the grassy field, covering the dead, frozen plants and grasses that spread across the hill overlooking the creek.  Lighting shined through the branches of the naked dark, trees and created a ripping reflection on a puddle underneath a big oak tree. The noticed how to frozen water seamed to curve and disappear into the dark, winter woods And on the other side was a patch of trees, colored orange, yellow and maroon leaved falling from the thick leaf covered tree, it so was so full and so beautiful, Emery couldn’t help but feel his stomach flutter.

He could imagine himself sitting against the huge fallen tree that lay half way through the painting, and slightly feeling the icy chill wind breeze by his lips, sweeping away the white frosty smoke at dancing out of his mouth, and blowing his curls into his face, closing his eyes as he relaxed as he felt the intimate warmth from the cup of Ansel’ extra creamy, hazelnut coffee. His deep feeling for the familiar scenery bothered him in a way; he tried to think where it was he’s seen the image before but nothing came to mind so he left it alone for the time being, moving to the other paintings along the wall.

A slight grin came over Ansel face, filled with pride and a hint of flattery; he nodded and said yes while looking over at Emery, admiring the boys dark brown shiny curls and his smile as he examined his painting up and across and every which way his eyes would allow. “Uh, Take a seat if you want, make yourself comfortable”, Ansel said as he gestured over to the couch.

“I’ll get the coffee started” Ansel said turning his back to walk into the kitchen as set the coffer maker up, pour water and placing the coffee filter in the inside of the appliance and pouring in the ground coffee beans over the filter, clicking the lid shut and turning it on to make the water boil. Meanwhile, Emery was in awe, looking around the room at all the beautiful paintings that hung perfectly in the living room.

“These are beautiful, Ansel! Really! Wow”, Emery smiled back to Ansel, who was sitting on the recliner with his hands locked together over his tummy, “You’re a really great artist.”

“Well Thank you, Emery” Ansel replied with a blushing grin.

“Sooo”, Ansel cleared his throat, “How are you, stranger?”

“M’fine, My..um.. Boyfriend is out town so I’m just kind of wasting time.” Emerys’ smile slowly faded at the thought of Killian possible finding out he was in another man’s house, let alone a man he seemed too fancy in record time, his shoulder sunk deeper and deeper into himself while he twiddled him thumbs together, complete focused on them, then snapped back immediately when he realized he was talking to Ansel.

“Boyfriend? Hm. Is that who was yelling at you the other day?” Ansel faced cringed at the questions that slithered past his lips, he honestly didn’t mean to bring up that day but something his mind demanded he ask and the words just flew from his mouth.

Emery’s eyes shot a surprised look at Ansel, and then looked back down at his hands. He desperately tried finding a new excuse to tell Ansel but couldn’t he didn’t want to lie but then again he didn’t want to tell a stranger about the thing he goes through behind closed doors.

“He just had a bad day”, Emery softly muttered,” and I was nagging and being a brat.” Emery answered.

“You expect me to believe you’re at fault for the horrible behavior?” Ansel sassed back without thought, “come on Emery, I know I don’t know you but you don’t-“

“You don’t even know him! He’s a good man and had done so much for me, you wouldn’t understand”, Emery snapped at Ansel, leaving him wide eyed and stunned. “S-sorry.”

 After Ansel quietly apologized searched around the room rubbing his cold hands together between his legs then looking back at Emery “Aren’t you hot?, he asked, noticing that Emery was still wearing his coat and thick white scarf.

 

“What? Um, no, I-I’m fine, thanks” Emery timidly reassured Ansel he was ok even though his cheek flushed a few shades darker than before.

Ansel raised a brow in disbelief and as he tried to say something, he heard a soft sizzle from the vapors dropping back down to the coil and rushed over to prepare to cups of coffee for  Emery and himself. He turned off the coffee maker and opened up the stained wooden cabinet, reaching inside and pulling out two green coffee mugs with fall leaved painted across. He set down the cups and turned to reach over to top the fridge, standing on his tippy toes and knocking over a bucket of sweeteners and flavor creamers, stumbling the bucket between his hands trying to get a grip on it to hold it steady. By the time he caught the bucket of creamers and packets of sweeteners, it was empty and all the packages lay across the kitchen floor.

“Shit”, he whispered, tippy toeing  over the counter to see if Emery was looking, and when he saw Emery stretching out his neck to see what Ansel was doing, Ansel waved and put on a half forced smile mombling “oops” when looking back at the packets on the floor and bending down to pick them up.

Emery stood up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen and stood just before the carpet turned to wood, slightly bending over to peek at Ansel. He stepped out from the behind the counter, and waited for Ansel to notice him, “hi?” he smiled down at Ansel before getting onto his knees to help Ansel.

After the packets were all cleaned up and placed back in the bucket, Ansel set aside a few sugars and creamers.

“You know I tried making it how you made it for me that one day” Emery told as he traced the edge of the sink with his finger, “I couldn’t quite get it right so I just gave up.”

Ansel chuckled and prepared the coffee, now making sure it was perfect for Emery, “oh yeah?” he said glancing over at Emery, taking a second look when he noticed the boys brown curls flow to down his neck and over his ears. He smiled and stirred the coffee, handing one cup over to Emery and walking back to the living room and sitting back in seat as Emery followed.

They were seated same as before; across from each other. Ansel giggles as Emery tried taking a sip of his coffee but failing each time because his burned his lip and tongue. He tried several times before giving up and blowing across the liquid to cool it down, making ripples of waves from one end of the mug to the other. “You’re adorable”, Ansel told, with a sweet smile.

Emery was a bit taken back by the comment and hadn’t noticed the weird face he had made while trying to process the sentence through his head

Emery wasn’t used to getting compliments like that anymore, Killian hadn't made any effort to make Emery feel special in months and to be honest Emery was bit uncomfortable and nervous, he felt butterflies swirl around inside of him, making him feel a giggly and shy. He blushed hard and covered his mouth with the tip of his fingers, trying not smile at the tickling in his tummy then looking down at his coffee, smirking while rubbing the rim of the mug with his thumb.

“Did I say something wrong?” Ansel asked with a concerned look on his face, slight burrowing his eyebrows together then raising the right one when he didn’t get a response.

“No, No I just haven’t heard that in a while” Emery replied with disbelieving eyes and a small grin.

Ansel nodded, sticking his tongue between his teeth and looking away for a second, trying not to look like a 15 year old boy with a high school crush looking away when he felt his cheek grow red.

He bit his lip then looked back up at Emery, “so, Styles? Is it?”

Emery nodded.

“Tell me more about you Mr.Styles”, Ansel sank into his chair like a five year old at story time in pre-k.

Emery couldn’t ignore the older boy’s curious, bright blue eyes that were so innocent and refreshing.

“Well, I’m 17. I have an older sister named Gemma. I’m a photograph-“Emery didn’t get a chance to finish before Ansel interrupted him.

“You’re a photographer? What do you take pictures of?” his face brighten as asked, gripping his mug tighter anxious to know what Emery likes. “Well I like landscapes and I love the park when it’s autumn, the colors are so beautiful and warm and lively, which is strange because everything is dying. I take a lot of sky pictures, clouds are my favorite, and they have so much shape to them, y’know? Sometimes when Killian is way I like to go to the park with my camera a just take pictures of random things. It’s a bit relaxing; it’s been my escape for years.” Emery went on and on about how he loved lying down in the grass and taking pictures of the sky and the birds flying by. “Actually there’s this place whe-“, Emery smiled when he clicked that the picture Ansel had painted was of his favorite spot in the park. Emery stood up and turned to face to painting on the wall above his head,“ where I go to photograph”, he continued.

Ansel tilted his head in confusion to Emery strange sudden fascination with the painting, “What? Is there something wrong with my painting?”

“No, I just- Where did you paint this?” Emery asked, squinting his eyes to see the painting clearly.

“By the big oak tree next to the bridge in Stone Oak park next to the old Hollow Forest? I used to go there when I was little and play with my sisters and cousins, why?” Ansel wondered.

Emery grinned over to Ansel, “That’s my spot, I go there a lot, especially when Killians’ away, He doesn’t think my photography will get me anywhere, and I suppose he’s right, Photographer’s these days are a dime a dozen. I’ve sold a couple photographs but nothing too big, mostly family portraits or baby pictures. I tend to be attached to kids more than adults, they don’t judge you ya’know?  Anyways, when I first came across this town I use to wonder into the park sometimes and sit on the same bench every day, a just take mental pictures, and then I met Killian and he kind of saved me.”

“What do you mean he saved you?”, Ansel asked.

“Well I suppose it all started when I was 16, I had ran away from home, my dad wasn’t too fond of me being gay, so I decided that was my place. I packed a bag with my camera, a few photos and a couple shirts and left and of course I was living on the streets for months and months before Killian picked me up. I was sleeping in an ally one winter and he was walking by and noticed I was barely breathing, it was about 20 degrees out and I hadn’t eaten in days. He picked me up with no effort and took me back to his place, he had absolutely no reason to take me in but he did. At first we were friends and I took care of the house and cooked to pay him back in a way but them it turned into second nature. He bought me clothes, food, he gave me a home, he gave me everything I ever wanted. He showered with gifts and affection every day. He came home with a new gift or a deep nuzzle when I cooked dinner for us after he got home from work.” He said with a smile and loving eyes, remembering how Killian was in the beginning, but his smile vanished when he realized he was no longer how he was when Emery met him. he was Emery’s knight in shining armor, he was so perfect for Emery, he was sweet and loving, everything Emery had every wanted in a boyfriend, he was perfect and Emery loved him. he adored him but everything slowly changed , Killian became angrier and angrier, and the sweet, caring Killian soon faded from Emery’s grasp.

He paused for a second then continued, “he was my first love to be honest every one before that was either a cheater or liar, sometimes even both.”

“was?”, Ansel interrupted with an amused grin.

Emery rolled his eyes trying not to let his smile show too much, “is”, he sassed.

 “as I was saying, “he continued then realized what part of the story came next and what he was about to say and rethought his words, “we’ve been living together for a few years and are happy as ever”, he lied though his forced smile. He wanted to dig his nail into his scars but the risk of exposing his cut riddled wrist was too much. He intertwined his fingers together after setting his mug on the glass coffee table and looked over to Ansel who was sipping his coffee and looking back at Emery with a sad, disappointed face, and we wasn’t too good at hiding it.

Ansel knew Emery was keeping something from him but he had already made him snap and didn’t want to upset him any further. His wondering eyes came to focus upon Emery’s red flushed cheeks, “are you sure you’re not hot? It’s pretty warm in here, are you sure you want to keep your coat on?” He asked Emery, questioning Emery’s insist to keep the black coat on when it was 75 degrees inside the apartment “yes I’m fine,” Emery nodded while the lie spat itself out of his lips.

He didn’t know how much longer he could take the heat, but decided to try and calm himself to cool his body; after all he couldn’t let Ansel see his “disgusting” cuts and bruises.

He grew quite comfortable with Ansel, and the fact that Ansel had invited him into his home was even more relaxing and admirable to him. It was stranger for Emery to warm up to someone that quickly, he felt like he had known Ansel for years and years just by sitting across the room from him and talking over a cup of coffee for a few hours., and with each passing minute was another spent in each other’s lives, and that was something they both could get used to.

Another hour past, filled with laughter and newly found friendship and the two boys had grown extremely found other each other, needless to say their crushes on each other only dug deeper and deeper with eye flutter and sweet smile.

Emery’s phone had been buzzing for a few minutes and he clicked it off and ignored any messages or missed calls that had come in, Killian’s didn’t usually call Emery during the day, so Emery just brushed it off as being his mother or sister, not that he didn’t want to talk to them but he knew he could call them back but Ansel was here and now and he wanted to savor every minute.

Emery quickly got annoyed by the constant buzzing sound coming from his phone, then checked it.

“shit” whispered, scrolling through the alerts.

3 missed calls

1 mom

2 Killian

Emery heat sank to the bottom of his chest after scrolling down to see the text messages.

From: Babe.

Message: Baby, I’m home early! (:

From: Babe.

Message: Where are you, love?

From: Babe.

Message: Emery where the fuck are you?

From: babe.

Message: Get home. NOW!

His heart sank deeper with fear, and his breaths became shallow and harsh.

He felt enclosed, and began to panic, loosening the scarf from his neck.

“I have to go” he choked out.

Ansel was confused at Emery’s sudden behavior; the mood in the room had changed so fast, he didn’t know what to do or think and as Emery loosened the scarf that wrapped around his neck, allowing him to breathe, he accidentally exposed the large purple and green bruise on his neck that shaped like a hand gripping half his throat and half his chest.

After Emery realized Ansel had seen it, he scrabbled in his mind, trying to find an excuse to tell Ansel, but Ansel face was beyond excuses and lies. Ansel eyes widened and his jaw dropped with disgust and shock. He couldn’t believe he had been so blind to ignore all the signs. Ansel stood from the chair, placing his mug next to Emery’s on the table and walked over to him, reaching up and pulling down the scar to see Emery’s awful bruise clearly.

“Oh, Emery”, his whispered, “I-I’m...oh my god…”

Ansel was at a loss for words when he pulled the scarf further only to reveal more bruises.

“It’s ok, I’m ok”, Emery said, taking Ansel hands into own. His eyes watered as he looked down at the older boy and for the first time in a long time, he actually felt cared for, he felt like Ansel wasn’t showing Pity but showing an enormous sense of warm affection and love. “No! It’s not ok,” Ansel growled his voice forceful and a bit broken. “I’ll be fine, he’s in a good mood, he just surprised me that’s all.” He lied again.

Ansel shook his head in disapproval and involuntary let Emery’s hand slip through his fingers.

“Wait!” he called out as Emery’s hand made it to the door knob, “I want your number.” Ansel reached into his pocket and pulled out a large white phone, unlocking it and setting the keypad for Emery to put his number in. Emery was a bit hesitant at first but he knew Ansel wouldn’t let him go anywhere without some sort of way of communicating.

“I need to know you’re ok,” Ansel demanded, handing over the phone to Emery.

“Alright, but text me as ‘Jessy’ so he won’t know”, Emery instructed while tapping the numbered into the keypad and handing it back to Ansel.

“Emery with a heart and a smiley face?” Ansel faintly smiled back at Emery.

Emery turned back to the door and opened it up, walking through to the outside. Ironically the weather outside had turned from bright and beautiful to a gray windy mess. As he  took a step out of the apartment, he turned back to say goodbye, and as his lips parted to speak Ansel slide his hand onto Emery’s face cupping his face into the palm of his hand and leaned in, pressing his warm, loving lips to Emery’s. Emery pushed Ansel back, Fearing Killian was behind him, even though there’s no possible chance he even knew where Emery was he still felt his heart dive down into his stomach and reacted  the only the way he knew; by pushing him away. Even though the kiss only lasted for a second but to the boys it felt like years, they lost each other when their lips touched and their breaths mixed together, and the frosty white mist proved that.

“Im Sorry-i-I just cant. Im sorry..” Emery exhaled with a shaky breath.

“It’s okay…” Ansel hung his forehead against Emery’s, whispering, “Call me if you need me”, then straightened back up to look Emery in the eyes, “I’ll call you in a few minutes so you can have my number”.

He rubbed the pad of his thumb along Emery’s lips then let him walk away down the steps and into the cold winds and disappearing half way down the street.


	5. Chapter 5

After discovering the brutal truth behind Emery’s all too surreal personal life, Ansel went to his bedroom to wait for a message from Emery. He had texted him to be safe and to reassure him once again he would be there his he needed him, but got no reply. An hour after Emery had slipped thought his finger yet again he tossed and turned into his bed contemplating the horrific experience Emery had been going though and god knows what else would happen that night. He spent that evening thinking about how stupid he felt for, in his opinion, ignoring the signs. He knew something was going on but he gave the benefit of the doubt. It was innocent but Ansel hated himself for not puzzling the pieces sooner. He felt sick to his stomach knowing Emery was going home to that monster and knowing he could treat Emery so much better than he had made his chest tighten, but then again he didn’t know Emery, he had nothing to give Emery. Ansel thought he had absolutely nothing to offer and man as magnificent as Emery. Emery gave Ansel inspiration, while Ansel only gave him coffee and more problems. So he believed.

~

It was 7 o’clock and Naomi was supposed to be on her way home. While Ansel was sitting at home, anxious to talk to someone; he had no one else but her. So he waited and waited for her to come home. Plus, he figured why not, he couldn’t sleep always, there was nothing on his mind besides finding out if they boy that had come crashing into his heart like a shoot star, burning across the night sky, bright and strong, yet burning out and crashing down, was ok. That’s all he wanted; for Emery to be ok.

Ansel heard the soft jiggle of keys rattle at the door and a ruffle of paper bags come through the door way, he walked out, his sleeves draped over his hands and stuffed into his sweater pocket.

Naomi walked into the kitchen after announcing she was home to put away the groceries she had brought home. She was bit of a neat freak, she was the type to have the labels face front and picked the cans with no dents and marked labels.

“Naomi”, Ansel’s timid voice called out for her, walking over and resting his head on his hands over the counter.

Naomi glanced over to him, the returned back to stacking a bag of fruit in a big bowl to set at the table.

“I know”, she murmured, “I saw Lou.”

“He came to the shop this morning and asked for you. I was going to tell him to come back but then I saw it. So I sent him here”, she stopped putting away the groceries, at patted her fist in the counter. Ansel tried not to cry, he had done so well until this point. He didn’t want to break down and fall to pieces all over again. With tears forming in his eye he nodded, looking away to try and hold back the tears that rushed over his eyes. “It’s my fault. I didn’t ask. I found bruise cream the day I saw him. I ignored it. This is entirely fucking fault Mi. I let this happen!” and against his will the tears gushed him his eyes, steaming like raging rivers, filled with regret and innocent guilt.

Naomi rushed over to Ansel, taking him into her arms and wiping away his tears. “Oh sweetie. None of this is your fault. My love, you didn’t know. There’s no possible way you could’ve known.” she rubbing circles on his back and held in him tighter as his cry turned into his sobs.

 

“Honey, people that go through have to want to be helped. You can just help because you want to. He didn’t tell you for a reason. He trying to protect you, Ansel.” he voice half way breaking, she hated seeing Ansel like this. She had never seen so much emotion come from him, he was half way glad he now knew he was human but half was devastated that this is what it took to break him. “I told him to let me know if he was ok and I haven’t heard a thing from him”, his words shuttered along with his broken sobs making his chest tighten and making it difficult to breathe.

“What if something happens Baba?”, he looked up at her. She shook her head, “he’ll call. Just breathe Lou. It’ll be ok”, she cooed while leading him to the bedroom and putting him to bed.

“Now get some sleep. We both had work tomorrow”

~

Ansel sat at an empty booth on the far end of the coffee shop, trying to focus on an assignment he got at his art class that week. He had to study the human body and sketch each part of both a male a female from 5 different angles. Naomi had forced take the class because she was worried his art skills were getting a bit rusty, she hadn’t seen him pick up a pencil since he and Emery met that day but little did she know he had been drawing Emery and a variety of scenery’s in the background but she demanded that he spend some time away from the couch. She bought him 5 classes at am old art studio downtown for this birthday as an early present.

He tried to concentrate on the assignment he was given but they only art he wanted to study was Emery. He was beautiful to Ansel, his perfectly shaped almond eyes; so gentle and warm and the light, beige skin was soft and he could remember how his hand felt against Emery when he link their finger’s together, and his lips; so pink and plump. He couldn’t think of more amazing shade of pink to compliment the boy’s complexion. He was so hypnotized by the curly haired bright-eyed boy that he couldn’t help of think if his smile and the way he sip his hot coffee when he saw a small child cringe when their hot chocolate burned their tongue and flinched back to cover their mouth.

He hadn’t heard from him since last night; Ansel knocked out, he had cried himself to sleep but the endless gut-wrenching feeling of guilt that he had let Emery be treated that way, but in the morning he was told Emery did call and said he was alright and everything was fine. Naomi didn’t want to wake Ansel but she answered his phone and offered Emery to stay at the apartment for a few days if he ever needed it; he kindly accepted the offer and thanked her, saying goodnight the hanging up.

Ansel knew he had no right to but he wanted to steal Emery from the awful place. He couldn’t sleep properly knowing Emery was lying next to that monster

~

Emery felt terrible about lying to Naomi and Ansel but he knew he couldn’t tell them the truth, he knew if he told and they tried to help they would all be in danger.

~

Emery soundlessly sobbed into his hand, gasping for air every chance he got and prayed for it to be over; for it all to be over.

Emery counted the minutes to when he could be free from Killian’s commanding touch. He lay under Killian’s arm, his tears racing down the sides of his face as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to erase what Killian had just done to him. “No. he wouldn’t. he …no. no.”, he thought to himself as he quietly sobs and waited for Killian to fall asleep. Once he knew Killian was dead asleep he crept out of the bed and into the living room, searching for his cell phone. Once he found it he saw 4 text messages

From: Emma

Message: Hey. Are you home ok? Xx

From: Emma

Message: Hey Emery It’s me, Emma… just wanted to know if you were ok.

From: Emma

Message: I’m getting kind of worried. Please call me or just let me know. Thanks Xx

From: Emma

Message: Please call me, I’m dying over here. I just want to know if you’re ok. Xx

Emery’s eyed started to water; he couldn’t believe someone he barely knew was this concerned about him. He felt his stomach flutter as he pressed the call button and heard the beeps of the numbers dial.

“Hello?” a soft, girly voice answered.

“Um Ansel?” he whispered into the end of the phone, peaking into the bedroom to check on Killian.

“Oh Emery! Ansel is asleep. I finally got him to go to bed. Are you ok? He told me what he saw today, I saw it too at the coffee shop.”

Emery lifted his hand to his neck and rubbed the bruise and cringed.

“Yes. I’m ok, thank you. Can you please tell him I’m Ok? I’ll text him tomorrow and I’ll try to see him soon. And tell him I-“, he paused” tell him thank you, please.”

He hung up before she could answer him back, quietly sobbing into his palms and dropping the phone to his feet.

~

Meanwhile Naomi was tending to the few customers in the shop and as always Easton was nowhere to be found, Ansel tried to concentrate on the assignment but only thought now Emery must've been doing he drew little doodle across he's notebook with the images with if his lip pressed to the young green eyed  beauty.

He smiled every time he thought of that kiss and it only gave him more hope for another. Out of all the time he had day dreamed about kissing Emery he'd never thought that in the simplest way, it would be the sweetest and dearest kiss he'd ever had. Naomi walked over to Ansel’ booth and sat down in front of him, “So, how the class going?”, she ask, playfully smiling at him. “Good.”, he replied, ”I like the teacher, he’s kind of funny and not at all like my art teacher in high school. At least this one doesn't write all over my pieces.”

“hmm”, she chuckled at her bright eyed best friend,” what are you drawing?”

“Um.. a person”, he nervously mombled.

“Are those Emery’s eyes?”, she raised a brow already knowing the answer, or at least the real answer.

“Nooo…”, he looked up trying to hold in a dorky smile but failed as they both giggled.

“Well it’s really good, love”. Naomi blew him a kiss about walked back to the kitchen as she saw a new costumer walk in.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” she asked

“Just a coffee”, the voice harshly replied.

“Alright, can I have a name?” she asked, reaching for a take-away cup.

“Killian.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ansel heart dropped when he heard the all too familiar voice of the man that had he heard that day at the grocery store. He turned to face to the front of the coffee shop and saw the tall, hulking man standing in a large, long grey coat and a white scarf wrapped around his neck.  Ansel recognized the scarf right away; it was the same one Emery had worn the day before. He watched as the man got his coffee and walked out of the coffee shop as if nothing in the world was out of place. He let out a huff of air he didn’t know he was holding in, and felt the tightness of his chest release, making his breathing return to normal.

 Ansel walked over to Naomi, “Who was that guy?”, he asked, peeking over the counter to see if the man had vanished from the near sidewalk.

“Um, Killain? I think? Why?” she asked drying out a few mug and stacking them under the counter.

“Did he give you a last name?”,  Ansel asked, leaning against the counter and crossing his foot over the other.

“Smith? That’s what his card said I think.” She answered.

“That was the guy, MI.”

Her eyes widened, “Are you kidding? That guy is a cop! A saw his badge and gun hooked to his hip! There’s no wa-“

“Its him.” he blankly stated, “I saw him that day at the grocery store when I saw Emery. That was the guy that was yelling at him.”

“Lou is you sure?” she asked paying close attention to  Ansel face.

“Yes”, he nodded, walking back to his booth and barring his head in his hands and rubbing his eyes.

~

The ring of a bell sounded as  Ansel opened the door the James’s art shop, entering and peaking around for any sign of him. James had been attending art shows in other city’s so he had been gone for a week, and  Ansel hadn’t seen him since the day he met Emery with was almost a week before he left.

“James!”, he called out.

“Over here!”, James called out with the fumbling sound of boxes stumbling over him.

 Ansel rushed behind the counter and through the storage shelves, “Are you ok there?”, he asked picking up some boxes and placing them over the shelves.

“Yeah! Just organizing some things before new shipment comes in.” he stood up, grabbing hold of  Ansel extended hand to help himself up.

“How have you been, Lou I haven’t seen you in a while.” James asked walking back to the front of the store and looking though some labeled boxes.

“I’ve been ok, I met someone…” Ansel paused as his smile slightly dropped, “but he had an asshole boyfriend”

“Yeah? Don’t they all”, James grunted picking up a big box that was wrapped in black paper covered with tiny bones and skulls with the words, “Have a spooky birthday” written cross the wrapping paper and to tie it all together; a big purple and orange bow held the ends together. “I’m not going to be in next week so here go you lad, Happy 21st birthday, Lou!”

“James you didn’t have to this, honest!”  Ansel fronted, sliding the ribbons and tearing apart the paper he saw the tape that held the flips of the box together and grabbed a pen from the counter and glided it though the tape, slicing to open. Inside the box was a full 150 count of Prismacolors, a 76 count of acrylic tubes of paint and 50 different bushes with exchanging handles and colors. “Wow! James this is too much I can’t-“ ,  Ansel didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. “Oh shut it! You deserve it! You’ve been working at the coffee shop like a dog”, James snapped with chuckle after seeing  Ansel’ face light up like a kid in a candy shop, “and judging by the way you’ve been buying pencils and sketch markers I’d say you’ve gotten back to art, hm”

“Thank you, James! I love everything!”,  Ansel hugged James, “and yes I have I’ve been drawing and painting so much recently.

He looked up at the clock that hung above the register, “I have to go, Easton’s going to fire me if I keep spending too much time over here,” he chucked picking up his box, “and thank you again James, I really appreciate it.”

“Bye, James!” he shouted as the as the bell rang again behind him.

~

 Ansel sat at his desk thinking of the man that had strolled into the coffee shop early that day. He had come by before but  Ansel never paid any attention to him. Could he really be a cop?  Ansel pondered around the fact that the man completely destroying someone’s world could be the same person who is supposed to protect people like that. He twisted in his chair, swaying from side to side and biting his nail between his teeth. His deep focus on the edge of the window broke when he heard the sound of his phone buzzing.

He blinked out the trance and reached over the bed to try and grab it but his arm couldn’t quite reach it. The phone was an inch way from the tip of his fingers so he plopped himself down on the bed.  Ansel tapped the padlock, opening the phone and clicking the messages.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: hey! Xx

 Ansel tummy filled with butterflies has he read the name and smiled from cheek to cheek and tapping in the keyboard to reply.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: Hey! Omg! How are you I was getting worried about you…

His phone buzzed again soon after.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: I’m fine. He yelled for a bit and fell asleep. I’m ok. X

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: Glad to hear love! So when can I see you again? (:

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: um... I don’t know Lou…

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: too soon...

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: No, it’s just…it’s not safe, he got a little suspicious.

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: oh. Right …the cop.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: How did you know he’s a cop?

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: he came to the shop today. Don’t worry he didn’t even notice me but I remembered his voice and Naomi saw his badge so…yeah.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: well, I think not noticing you is a little impossible. Xx

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: Aww, you’re adorable! Xx

From: Emery<3 (:

Message:  I have to go he’s on his way home. Bye Lou. Xx

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: Bye Emery. Xoxo…

 Ansel grinned, rubbing his thumb over the screen of the phone, reading the sweetest text message he had ever gotten in his life over and over. He couldn’t believe someone as beautiful as Emery could have stumbled into his life without an ounce of warning. He closed his eyes and envisioned Emery’s bright green eyes glistening back at him as they laughed together about endless nothings; just purely enjoy the warm presence of each other’s company. He felt like home to  Ansel, for the first time in months and months…he felt like he had found his home. He just didn’t know how to cope with the fact that the man he felt so at peace with already had a home; a broken, violent, fucked up home, but a home. He knew Emery was different and he didn’t know that someone who different from himself could make him feel to pieced together and unbroken, without Emery he felt like a broken toy that no kid wanted to play with but when he saw Emery for those few hours…he felt complete. He felt like he could be loved for the person he was and love for the person he saw sitting in front of him. He didn’t expect someone from a completely different world would have such an immediate impact on him as it did. He wondered how a sweet caring, gentle young lad had been caught up with a corrupted cop and a man as evil and vile as he was. He knew Emery wasn’t like Killain. There was something beautiful about him that made the air around him seem a little clearer, he made the sun shine a little brighter with each passing second he smiled at  Ansel with a crinkle in his eyes and the dimples on the sides of his face that were cratering in.

 

He wondered if he could take Emery from Killain. He wasn't one to steal a man but this one he had to have. He needed Emery. He needed to feel his lips against his against his, he needed to feel the warmth of his breath wrapping around his neck when they hugged. He knew he needed Emery and he knew he needed to do whatever it took to get him.

 

After walking around the house waiting for Emery to text him after Killain was asleep and waiting up for Naomi to share the amazing news about hearing from Emery, he soon feel asleep on the couch. As short as the conversation was; it couldn't have gone any better.  Ansel’ phone fell from his hand and vibrated in the carpeted floor, muffling the sound of the buzzing from the incoming messages.

3 text messages.

A few minutes later Naomi quietly snuck into the house, carefully setting down her bag and grabbing a blanket from the hallway closet and sprawling it over  Ansel, who was now snoring loudly into his palm, half way drooling from the much needed rest he hadn't gotten in days.

She picked up the phone from the floor and opened the messages when she saw the name "Emery<3(:" on all of them.

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: Hey!

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: Hey! He's asleep (:

From: Emery<3 (:

Message: Oh, I guess you're asleep...Sweet dreams angel! Xx

Naomi smiled at the texts and opened up a reply.

To: Emery<3 (:

Message: Hey Emery! It's Naomi; can you do me a huge favor?

~

 Ansel woke up the next morning with a kink in his neck from his awkward position of the sofa. Half his body was hanging off and his left arm was numb under his face, he tried to move it but it only tingled making him uncomfortably laugh and groan at the sizzling pleasurable pain. He sat up, rubbing his face with both hands and pushing his hair out of his face to clearly see around the room. He looked around for his phone when he realized he had fallen asleep before he could talk to Emery after Killain went to bed. He panicked when he didn’t see his phone anywhere near him but when he stood up he saw a small black brick on the kitchen counter. He sighed in relief and walked over to it, picking it up and reading the messages. He smiled for a second the felt bad for leaving Emery up by himself. Naomi walked in to living room, her t-shirt was 2 sizes too big and her pajama’s dragged across the floor as they half way fell off.

 Ansel giggled, “You look twelve, Mi.”

“Shut up”, she glared at him with a half funny face, sticking out her tongue as she mocked him. Her curls fell into the front of her face and bounced from side to side as she walked into the kitchen to make them their morning coffee, although  Ansel’ comment made her think twice about making him a cup. “So, was the couch comfortable?”, she asked, yawing right after. “No! My neck hurts”, he whined, rubbing the side of his neck with the tip of his fingers when rolling his palm over it. She quietly chuckled, searching though the cabinets for coffee mugs. “Are we going to do anything for your birthday this year?”, she asked, “it’s only a week away.”

“No.” he answered sternly. “Remember you tried to throw Easton a birthday party and you almost set the apartment on fire with your sad excuse of a cake?” he laughed, covering his mouth and half his face when he saw her giving him the evil eye. “I’m kidding! And I don’t want a party or anything. We can barely pay the bills. It’s ok really.”

“alright, I guess.”, she let the matter go and poured a cup of coffee in each mug, preparing hers and leaving  Ansel’ on the counter to prepare it himself, then walking back to her room and shutting the door behind her and returning to her stack of books. She knew how touchy he was about what went into his coffee so she had given up on trying to make it.

 Ansel prepared his morning mug of happiness with his mind wandering back to Emery. He wondered how Emery was in the mornings. Was he grumpy? Was he lively? Was he a breakfast person? Did he spend hours in the restroom like he did? How did his hair look like when he lifted his head from the warmth of his pillow? Did his eyes glow a little brighter with the morning sun shining on them through the window?

These were all the questions  Ansel had racing across his mind in the short moment, the only questions he wanted to desperately know the answer to, there was so much he wanted to know about Emery and all the time in the world wouldn’t be enough for him to satisfy his curiosity about Emery.

He stirred his coffee with a spoon, taking a sip to test the flavor then dropping the spoon into the sink, grabbing his phone and walking back to his room. He sat at his desk, placing his cup on the far corner of the desk then stacking the pages and pages of drawing and sketches from his art class. He packed away his assignments into his portfolio and reached into the treasure box for his key and unlocked his drawer.  Ansel took a sip of his coffee then searched for his black book inside the messy drawer. When he found it he opened to cover and flipped through the doodle riddled pages to an open spot. He grabbed the tin of graphite pencils from the bottom drawer and began to sketch. Ever since he saw Emery he had envisioned the two of them in the park that had both apparently shared their special place, taking a stroll in the middle of autumn when all the leaves had fallen of the trees and the walk way were covered in orange and burgundy leaves. He pictured Emery dragging if feet along the sides of the sidewalk where the leave had collected from the icy wind blowing them away, swirling them into their winding path.

 

Once he was done sketching the naked trees and swerving gravel pathway in the background He sketched Emery’s tall lanky body, carefully trying to make him perfectly. He had to draw him as perfectly and flawlessly as he believed he was. He second guess everything mark he make, questioning if he had drawn it the right length, angle, width. He made Emery look like a completely angel, drawing his eyes slowly and as steady as brain surgeon, carefully playing attention to every detail and only having his memory of the young curly haired boy to create of the image from. He drew him wearing exactly what he wore the day he had come into the shop, shading in the shadow he left on the ground with his scarf blowing across his body, almost wanting to fly away.  Ansel drew his coat fading from black to white, flowing along with the wind that blew by. He drew Emery’s eye exactly how he remembered seeing them for the first time when he turned around and saw the tall, handsome young lad standing on the other side of the counter, so unsure of where he was and why, but his eyes shined bright than anything  Ansel had ever seen. He blushed at the thought of Emery’s rosy pink cheeks flushing as he adorably attempted to cool down his coffee with a huff of his breath from his puckered dark pink lips.  Ansel was sure he had never seen anything a beautiful as Emery in his life time, not even the greatest paint ever painted was worth a second glance when standing beside Emery.

He had noticed how Emery walks and sits with his feet pointed inward so decided to make his foot slightly pigeon toed. He thought it was actually kind of cute Emery was a bit pigeon toed. He grinned as he remembered the boy sitting on his sofa with his toes stuck together and looking at him with big eyes when he realized  Ansel had been staring at him. He his favorite thing about drawing Emery was his hair, he noticed that a lock of his curls fell into his forehead, dangling over his right eye and curling from the bottom up. He drew himself, standing beside Emery, reaching for his hand but not yet touching. In the picture, Emery was free from any worry, he was cheerful and smiling as he should; just like  Ansel wanted him to be. If he couldn’t be free in real life, the least  Ansel could do was free him within his art, like he was when he discovered his passion for painting and art. He wondered what Emery liked to photograph, he would ever share some of his work with him.  Ansel loved that fact that Emery was fascinated with the art work hanging in the living room, and he was sure he would return the favor if he was to ever see Emerys’ photos.  Ansel looked down at the sketch and smiled, happy with the fact that he had drawn exactly what he had pictured. He sat at his desk, looking though his phone, and rereading the text he and Emery had exchanged. He noticed how little the text were, not more than 5 words but remembered how his tummy felt, fluttering with butterflies whirling around inside him making his blood warm and his heart felt. It was funny how to much tiny meaningless words meant so much to him, even though to him melt every time his eyes scrolled across the letters.

After daydreaming about the day he could maybe…just maybe have Emery in his arms; safe and protected from all the stupid evil things in the world, he closed his eyes, laying on the bed and crossing his arms under his head for support, picturing the incredibly amazing smile that would be on Emery’s face if he was ever  Ansel’.

~

A crack of light shinned through the shutters of the house and peaked over Emery's eyes, waking up to half a lit room. To his surprise he woke up before Killain, usually he was up before the sun came up and was out of the house to take of "business". Killain was still half drunk from a late night poker game with his friends. He came home stumbling in and talking about some nonsense that had happened that night and thankfully for the both of them; he didn't make a lick of sense. Emery finally for him to go to bed after a body massage and a quick little favor that honestly made Emery sick to his stomach to even consider, but he had no other choice. Emery made his way to the kitchen and started to prepare some pancakes and freshly cut fruit and yogurt. Once he was got everything together he peaked through the door to see if Killain had wake up. He saw him searching around the bed with his hand and half opened eyes. He grinned and ran back to the kitchen got the tray of breakfast he had made walking back to the room and presenting it to Killain like a child showing his mother their first project he working hard on in school. Killain chuckled, "what's this babe?" Killain groggy voice asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "Breakfast", Emery smiled a sat next to Killain with the tray in his lap, "you've been working hard lately and I wanted to do something for you." Although he was never forced to be kind to Killain; only loyal and respectful, he felt like he had to make him happy, like a puppy licking his master’s feet after being punished one time for disobeying and never wanting to have the same experience to relive itself, but he did relive it, over and over and over. Emery felt like even though nothing was ever said to him about catering to Killain, it was his job. Killain hadn’t been home in the morning for a few months and Emery took the opportunity to butter him up and make him a little nicer with him, after upsetting him a couple days prior but even more so to sneak of and possible see  Ansel again. He handed the tray over to Killain and kissed his cheek softly, leaning back up and sat back on his heels. Killain chucked placed the tray on the bed beside the table. "Well that's very nice of you babe,” he turned to face Emery, cupping his hand around his cheek and leaning in to peck his lips. “Do you know what I’m going to do for you?” he whispered into Emery’s lips. Emery stomach swirled in a slight sense of fear, “what?” he gulped, leaning back and watching Killain’s hands and face closely. “Tickle you!”, he yelled attacking Emery; tickling the sides of his stomach and neck. They wrestled around the bed to the point where they were both blue in the face from laughing so hard. It was times like this that Emery really loved Killain. Despite all the wrong he ever did, for these brief moments; it made all the difference, he loved him and nothing in the world mattered; So Far.

They collapsed into each other and laid wrapping in each other’s arms for a moment; kissing and interlocking their hands together. These were the moments where Killain looked at Emery like the world had suddenly stop spinning, he was calm and gentle, just like when Emery had met him. His eyes said all he needed to say to make Emery completely melt away in his arms. The warmth of his body made Emery feel like it was the only place he felt protected and safe, it made him feel so secure to be wrapped up in a man’s arms that he had forgotten what the man behind the touch was truly like. The ever-lasting web of lies and horrendous truth was hidden behind a tenuous mask of compassion and warmth. He was undeniably blinded by the Killain’s wit and charm to see the signs before it started to spiral out of control. Killain started out a prince charming; gorgeous, lavish, exciting, everything you’ve ever dreamt of in a man but his concealment of the ugly beast he really was slowly crept out of the shadows. Piece by piece his evil, toxic being crumbled over time, showing its’ true self to Emery, but still blanketing itself with the perfect image of the man who had it all, but not to fool himself, Killain knew he was nothing. He knew he was just another insignificant being walking the lonely cold pavements of the earth and without any power over someone else, he was nothing and that’s all he could ever be. The only reason why he chose Emery was because he saw him as someone lower than he was, he saw a broken, torn up, wiry wandering soul who was in life-altering need in help. So that is what he did, he pretended to help Emery, he manipulated him to fit into his twisted idea of the life he needed to live, molding him into the servant that obeyed his every will and order. Emery saw the man under the mask and realized they were one in the same. Despite how big and bad Killain had seemed he was just had broken and lost as Emery And the tiny chance that he could possible help Killain, made him stay.

“So are you going to eat your breakfast I made you?” Emery muttered, leaving a light face-cringing kiss on Killain’s bare chest. “Of course” he replied, sitting up and grabbing the tray, placing it on his lap and beginning to cut into the stack of pancakes and turning on the TV. Emery kissed Killain’s temple and walked to the kitchen.as he walked into the pathway he saw his phone blinking on inside his coat and walked over to it, taking it out letting himself fall on to the couch.

2 text messages

From: Emma

Message: Hey Emery! It's Naomi; can you do me a huge favor?

Before he replied he decided to check the other message. Emery opened the message and stood up to walk to the kitchen counter to grab a banana. He looked over at Killain who was completely oblivious to the fact that Emery hadn’t gone back yet. He looked back down at the message biting his lip and running his fingers through his curls. He noticed the number wasn’t saved but when he saw the text he saw that it was Naomi, He tapped the buttons on the screen to reply to her; sending the message and locking the screen again then hiding it in his bag. He looked up and sighed, bring his hand to hips and closing his eyes for a moment. “Ok, Styles. Now or never”, he whispered to himself returning to the bedroom to lay back down next to Killain, which was only half way done with his stack of pancakes and fruit. “Babe?” he hesitated to ask to managed to build up a tiny bit of courage. “Yeah?” Killain answered, not bothering to break his focus of the TV. “My sister’s getting sick again, I have to go to my mother’s for a couple days next week. Is that ok with you?” he timidly asked, already expecting a no. “Yeah, sure.”

Emery was shocked but didn’t dare to question his answer.


	7. Chapter 7

After making breakfast in bed and having a quiet, cuddling evening with Killian, Emery woke up to an empty house the next day. Searching through the house for any sign of Killian but all he found was a note on the counter with a pen thrown beside it.

“I’ll be back later, don’t wait up. I have some business so I might not be home for a few days; guards are outside just in case. See you later.”

Emery rolled his eyes tossing the note into the trash can. He became a bit annoyed and rather disgusted with Killian ever since he forced himself onto Emery. He couldn’t handle the punches and stinging words but that was the last straw with Emery.  He half forced himself to do what he had always enjoyed doing; cleaning the house, shopping things he knew Killian would like. His love to make Killian happy slowly dissolved over the short time, things had been different for a few months and Emery knew it. He still loved Killian but sometimes being with him felt more like a job rather than a true relationship. Maybe it was, he thought to himself, pondering around the thought.

There was times where he enjoyed laying in bed but he envisioned someone else’s face when he looked up. He convinced himself the face he saw could never love such a broken, problematic person like himself, he thought the face he envisioned kissing his cheeks and stoking his hair to the back of his neck was too good for him. He was stuck on the words that ran through his head every time he tried to leave the house he was invisibly chained to, No one will EVER love him like Killian has. No one will ever give him what Killian has. Maybe it was his mind telling him he deserved better or maybe it was heart telling him he wanted better. He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was lost and this time he wasn’t sure who was going to save him …or if he was going to be saved at all.

Emery sighed, rubbing his face as he walked into the garage. After he ran way Killian had put a couple of his new “recruits” as guards at the gates of the front entrance of the house so Emery couldn’t pull another ‘reckless’ stunt’ as Killian called it, again. It wasn’t the first time Emery had snuck out, but he never did unless he needed to. He opened the door to the garage, unlatching the lock on the door and leaving the lock on the wall beside the light switch.

He had been cleaning out the storage boxes that were stacked in the corner of the garage that had only been growing since he moved in. he asked Killian if he could turn the garage into his wet room to develop his photos and after months and a little help of a few bottles of imported red wine that had been collecting dust in the cellar, he said yes. Emery had boxes filled with endless rolls of negatives he had yet to develop, most of which he didn’t remember when, where nor what he took pictures of, but he was just happy he had all these tiny moments of happiness to look back on. The few pictures he did get to develop were done in his sister’s shop a few blocks down from the coffee shop.

Emery turned on the light and scanned the room, taking a deep sigh and looking at all the boxes of junk and trash’s bags scattered around. He shivered at the feeling of his bare feet stepping into the icy cold floor. He groaned as he sat down beside a big chest he had started cleaning the afternoon before. He slid his sweat pants past his toes as much as he could but the top of his pants where half way falling off his hips, exposing half of shaved, prickly V cut but he didn’t mind, the jumper he was wearing covered him half way down to his thighs. He scooted closer to the chest reaching inside and snorting the items into the piles of what needed to be kept and what needed to be tossed out. He came across his old bag he had been walking around with before Killian took him in.

He opened the bag saw the old 1988 Nikon F4 camera, it was dusty and the buttons had been rubbed off but his smile seemed to have brought the camera back to life. He clicked it on then focused on a tree right outside the garage door and snapped a photo. He grinned, placing the camera back into his bag and setting it aside. He continued going through the chest, dividing each item into the piles he had made. The faint ringing of his phone caught his attention, making him jump up and run over to the living room where he had tossed his phone after a short chat with Ansel the night before after Killian had gone to bed.  He was scared Killian had been the one ringing him, he didn’t really like to wait for an answer, but when he saw it was Ansel he smiled and answered with a heavy pant from running from the garage.

“Hello?” his breathe unsteady and a dimple forming beside his mouth.

“Hi! Emery!” he heard the soft tiny voice say from the other end.

“Hey, Ansel!” he answered chuckling softly.

“Did I interrupt your work out? You sound out of breath?”, Ansel asked, listing carefully into the phone.

“Um no, I was just ran to get my phone.” He giggled out, “so what’s up? Good morning sunshine!”

“OH! I’m sorry I’ve been up so long it didn’t feel like morning. Good morning, love”, he sweetly returned the comment then nervously continuing, “So I was wondering if you would like to join me for a walk in the park today. I have some free time before my art class and I just wanted to know if you want to – um – hang out with me?”

Emery peaked over the brushes outside of the window to check the guards standing at the gates, “um… Sure! I’d love to Lou! What time?”

“Say about one?”

Emery looked at the clock on the wall, 11:48, he thought to himself.

“Sounds good, see you soon.” He said rushing to the room the shower and get ready. “Alright, see ya’ love!”, Ansel excitedly replied hanging up and leaving Emery to get showered and dressed.

Emery rushed in the shower, taking no more than five minutes then hopped out to brush his teeth and style his hair, mixing gel into it and combing it back but leaving the ends to freely curl on their own. After he was done with his hair he walked to the bedroom, dropping the towel onto the carpeted floor to search for a pair of socks and boxers, his favorite jeans and Ramones T-shirt.

He looked in his closet for his jean jacket, draping it over himself and laughing and the memory when it was a size to big, now it was on the verge of being a size too small. The weather had taken a brief break from the sting icy winds and frozen road ways and had been quite refreshing outside, at least for the next week or so before going into harsh winter season. Emery grabbed a backpack from the hallway closet and walked into garage.

Emery stuffed the camera into the bag and rushed back to the room to collect the rest of his things. He checked them off a mental list, “phone, keys, wallet.” he whispered to himself while picking each item up and stuffing them into his pockets. Stepped for a moment and thought of anything he might be missing when he decided there’s nothing more. He checked the gates and counted the guards, making sure they were all at their post and not sneaking around trying to check on him. Once he counted everyone off he quietly rushed to the back of the house, carefully opening the sliding doors and dashing through the gardens towards the hidden back gate that Killian had installed in case he was to ever need it.

He had snuck out before but this time it was different, he actually had a secret to keep and for the first time he had to protect someone other than himself. This time “just wanted to get out” or “just went for a walk” were lies.

Once he got the corner of the block he stopped, pulling out his cell phone and checking the time; 12:23. “Shit.” He whispered to as he turned the corner, peaking out his head to see if any guards were around the block. He saw that there was no one so he quickly made his way to other side of the street and down two more blocks to an old car shop that had been out of business for a few years. He searched for the key he had hidden under a rock, unlocking the door and carefully opening it and looking behind him; making sure he hadn’t been followed.

He walked in and unlocked another door beside fucked on the light that lite the way to a set of stairs. He walked down the clanking metal planks; the heels of his boots beating against the ridged steps. At the end of the stairs was a wooden door with the paint chipped away and a metal latching drilled into it, he unhooked latch and gently pushed the door open revealing a beautiful white 1950’s Chevy truck with back and gold interior seating and frosted Chrome bumpers and plate borders. The word ‘Chevrolet’ was painted in black in the back of the truck in bold letters. Emery grazed his fingers along the truck’s door handle before opening the door and sitting inside, tossing his bag beside him and placing the keys into the ignition then revving the truck a few times then carefully driving up the garage as he grinned while listening the sweet sound of his beloved trucks’ engine rumble the walls of the private parking garage. Once he drove on to the neighborhood street he tuned the radio from one station to another he found a song a liked. After flipping through enough stations he heard the cords to one of his newly acquired favorite songs; Cold Coffee, By Ed Sheeran.

He hummed along with the sweet melody of the guitar chords and the angelic notes of the words as he drove down the street. He thought to himself that if he were to thank Killian for anything, it would be this truck. It was a birthday present he had gotten the year after he met Killian and he couldn’t have been happier to have held the key’s in his hands the moment he saw the truck being unwrapped from under a giant red sheet like some sort of Christmas commercial. That truck was the only place where he had considered to feel like a home. Now the only thing missing was a person to come home to.

 

He noticed his bag bouncing around in the passenger seat. His camera had wiggled half way out of the bag by the time he noticed. He remembered where he was going where he was going after being lost in the breeze of the chilly October air floating around him and the smooth drift of the truck as he drove down the street, turning the corner and driving down a number a streets before arriving to the center of the downtown markets. He stopped in front of a little, hidden store with the words “Vintage camera and film” painted on a plank of wood that hung by the chains on each side of the plank. He jumped out his ca and quickly ran over the passenger side reaching out of the camera the walking inside the shop. The ding of the doorbell rang as he stepped inside and looked around for someone to help him. A tiny old man came out from behind the counter and walked over to Emery with a welcoming smile, “Can I help you?”

“Erm, yes. I have this camera,” Emery said presenting the camera to the old man, “I was wondering if you had any film for it?” Emery asked with a tense smile. The man pressed his finger to his lips in though, “what kind of camera?”, he asked walking behind the counter.

“1988 Nikon f4”

“Nice, have you taken care of it?” he old man asked, walking over to some boxes that were stacked up against the corner of the store’s north wall.

Emery chuckled, ”yes, of course, I treat it like a baby. They don’t make them anymore. I got it when I was about 12? My mum gave it to me.”

He man smiled, “alright let’s see if we have anything here for you.”

He searched through some of the boxes then returned to the counter after snapping his fingers at a sudden thought, “here you go!”, the man said excitedly said pulling up a box of film rolls from a bin beside the cashiers desk. “Now how many did you what?” he asked. “um 10. I’ll take 10 for now.” Emery replied, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet. “Alright”, the old man replied, pushing up his grandpa glasses and punching number into the register. Emery didn’t even look at the numbers he just swiped his card and grabbed his bag, walking out of the store after a quick wave to the old man and drove off.  When Emery returned to his truck he took a quick look at the time, 12:57.

“Shit” he exclaimed searching for his keys in panic and not a moment later he got a text from Ansel saying he was running a few minutes late which gave Emery a quick breathe of relief.

With the few minutes that had dropped into his lap he decided to surprise Ansel with some flowers.  He saw a tiny flower shop vender tending to his baskets of varies color and size flowers, sprinkling water where he saw fit and ruffling the leaves to make sure the petal weren’t drenched but healthy. He grinned and parked his truck on the curb, hopping out and half way skipping toward the entry door.

He tapped the old man on the shoulder and ask him a couple questions he need to pick and choose which type of flowers. After the 5th question the old man already had a bouquet of a few different flowers put together in his mind, chuckling at Emery and gesturing him to follow along.

 

The vendor guided Emery to the back garden room, walking over to a section with only white flowers and picking out what he said were a bundle of white Camellia’s and another of striped carnations, then walking over the rose section; picking out a coral rose, sticking in the center of the bouquet then adding a few Pink Lepto bundles for active color.

Emery was very pleased with the way the flowers came out, and trusted the vendor to carry out his little message within the flowers, smiling as he remembered Ansel’ face smiling so hard his eyes do the crinkle thing he loved so much.

Emery paid for the bouquet, waving goodbye to the vender and getting back into his truck and driving off. 

~

When he arrived at the park Ansel was still on his way so Emery stayed in his truck, scrolling through his phone then nervously patting the device against his palm while ticking his foot in anticipation.

He unlocked his phone, tapping open the message thread to Ansel’ number.

To: Erika

Message: hey! Meet me by the water fountains by the big tilted tree. Can’t wait to see youuuu! Xx

Emery’s stomach was in a tight knot, filling with butterflies as the tick on the clock of his truck counted down the seconds of Ansel’ arrival. He kind of liked the feeling he got when he thought about seeing Ansel, it was a beautifully different feeling from when he used to wait to see Killian.

The butterflies were heavier, and his cheeks burned a little hotter. His fingers slightly trembled, itching to touch Ansel’ skin when they accidently bumped hands. As Emery was lost in his sudden thought of Ansel’, a tap snapped him out of his day dream. He looked up and saw Ansel waving at him with a dorky smile and those lovely crinkling eyes. His grey beanie rested on his head, covering hair of his fringe expose the little red steaks. His arms were exposed due to the dark blue stripped tank top he was wearing, over his dark maroon skinny jeans and some black Vans to completely his unbearably attractive outfits. Emery could’ve sworn he was out to give him a heart attack but the way he pushed his fringe out his face with just the tip of his fingers.  

“HI!”, Ansel smiled, stepping back to let Emery open the truck door, “wow! Nice ride.”

Emery stepped out, hugging Ansel tight the moment his second foot hit the ground, the smell of Ansel’ cologne sent gentle chills through Emery’s body.

“I missed you Emery,” Ansel softly told him, barring his head into Emery’s chest.

“I missed you too”, he mumbled back, letting go of Ansel and turning to the truck. He grabbed his keys from the ignition, then his bag of films along with his camera then grabbed the bouquet of flowers then turning back around and handing them to Ansel and closing the truck door.

”I-I got these for you…” he nervously smiled while swinging the strap of his bag around his shoulder.

“Oh my god! These are beautiful Emery! So wonderful!” he said while sticking his face into the rose and smelling it, “they smell so good!”

He kissed Emery cheek and returned to smelling them. “I’m glad you like them, I had a little help picking them out but I’m so glad you like them, I didn’t know if you liked flowers or the colors you liked so I guess kind o-“

“They’re perfect, Emery. I love them.” Ansel cut him off, taking hold of his hand after taking a quick look around then pulling them both into the gravel pathway into the wooded park.

“Where are you taking me?”, Emery asked following Ansel. “No where you haven’t already been”, he replied rubbing the pad of his thumb over Emery’s as they held hands. Emery thought for a moment looking around the pathway for any clues or signs. He recognized a patch of trees that had fallen year before and lay stacked over each other like a pile of markers in a storage box. “Our tree?” he asked, turning to Ansel with a cheeky smile.

Ansel grinned, looking back at Emery, he couldn’t help but smile wider when he heard the word ‘Our’ slip out of Emerys mouth. Even though he was simply saying the tree was where they have coincidentally shared their peaceful escape from the word, but the tiny glow from Emery’s smile made him think it was more than just a coincidence. “Yes, Our tree.”, he said, walking off the trail and into the forest a trees on a foot made trail from him walking through it for years. Emery looked at Ansel, half way questioning Ansel’ weird choice of pathway but still trusting him and following right behind him. “Interesting way”, Emery muttered, stepping over fallen trees and broken branches.

“Short cut to the bridge, just trying to make the most of out the little time we have.” .Ansel replied and chuckled, prancing over the bridge trying to make Emery laugh. They continued walking until they got to a creek and on the other side was a tiny field with a large oak tree in at the end. There was patch of shade under one side of the tree. Ansel took Emery by the hand, helping over the muddy puddles around the creek from the melting ice then running over to the tree, setting down his gorgeous bouquet of flowers Emery had bought him, sitting down beside them and looking over at Emery has he watching him almost glide over to him with a warmth smile. Ansel could’ve sworn Emery was the single most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life. He admired how Emery swayed his hips from one side to the other, smiling at him and gently biting his bottom lip when he noticed Emery smile back at him after snapping out of his trans from Emery’s glow.

“You know I can send you a picture if you’d like.” Emery teased.

“I’m sorry,” Ansel nervously replied, his cheeks turning as red and the autumn leaves that sprinkled down from the oak tree above them, “You’re just so… incredible.” Emery blushed and covered his smile like a 5 year old getting embarrassed in front of his friends.

“W-well thanks”, he stuttered back, rubbing the back of neck after he sat down next to Ansel, setting his camera between his legs. Ansel’ eye’s lingered on Emery for a few moments after Emery looked away and out on to the creek, his face still flush. “so, um..” Emery muttered, looking back at Ansel, hiding a smile and placing his mouth behind his bicep after pulling his legs up to his chest as much as he could. “umm” Ansel flirtingly mocked at him, ”So what’s in the bag?” Emery grinned and opened the bag, pulling out a roll of film first, “my camera, I found it today. I was hoping to put it to use.”

“oh! Well let’s put it to use! Take a photo of me.” He said, standing up and posing like superman in front of Emery’s feet.

“I-um-I-ve never taken pictures of people before… only my mother and sister when I was playing with a camera, nothing serious, Ya’know.”, Emery confessed. “Well there’s a first time for everything. Come one it’ll be fun. I’ll be your muse for a day.”

Emery agreed, blushing and smiling uncontrollably as he raised his camera. Ansel struck a quirky pose that made Emery giggle, then changing it when he heard the click of the camera sound. Emery moved his body around, creating different angles he could have from the same picture. Once he found the perfect lighting in the angle he wanted he snapped a picture and waited for Ansel to change his pose. Emery couldn’t help but love his new fascination with photographing people, more specifically; Ansel. Emery would photo every inch of Ansel’ body, piecing together each photo like a puzzle only he understood completely from memory. After taking several picture of Ansel’ adorable poses Emery insisted they walk over to the tree by the near forest and he watched as Ansel ran over to a fallen tree before he could finish telling him his idea. Ansel lay on the tree, balancing himself on the middle of the trunk and lazily looking at Emery as he walked over to him. Emery glanced at Ansel every few step, blushing when his eyes caught Ansel starring back at him and biting his lip to hold back another dorky smile.

Emery lay on the leaf infested ground snapped a few photos from different angles then stopped and stood after Ansel had a sudden idea of climbing a tree and having Emery photograph him. “Well you’re an adorable monkey!” Emery teased, laughing along with Ansel after listening to him making monkey noises. “ha you’re so funny!”, he mocked again, accidently slipping in a branch after it cracked but caught himself before he could fall, “Alright, alright, just take the photo before I die up here!”

“oh don’t be so dramatic,” Emery chuckled, snapping a photo after each step he took while circling the tree, focusing the lens between the branches and twigs, “I’m sure you’re not doing to die.”

“No give me your best face!” Emery suggested. “Well if I gave you my best face I would have a face anymore now would I?” Ansel sassed making an adorable expression that Emery just had to capture. “Here come down and sit on this tree again, well...umm lay down and look up at me.” Emery told Ansel while stepping back to snap a picture then climbing up a snap one looking sown at Ansel.

“ok, that enough pictures for now, the star is tired”

, Ansel said dramatically covering his forehead with the palm of his hand. “The light, the light!”, he cried out as he stood up and walked over to the tree Emery had climbed. “Smile!” Emery said pointing the camera down and smiling down at Ansel.

When Ansel looked up, Emery looked like an angel. The glow of the sun behind him and created a shining golden halo around his curls. Ansel blushed at the magnificent site of Emery’s beautiful smile and curls swaying in the cool breezing wind. His cheeks grew warm and his palms grew moist and clammy. He starred at Emery for no more than a couple seconds but it felt like Hours. The world had slowed for the second time as his eyes wondered across the curves of Emery’s face; His cheeks rosy and soft and his lips almost as bright at the rose he received, coral colored and wet from his tongue skimming over them.

“Jesus.” He whispered, his mouth half open then taking a shallow breathe after gulping the drool he stopped from coming out of his mouth.

“Um, No? I’m Emery” he replied, raising a brow as he lowered his camera. Ansel nervously laughed, “I’m so sorry, I just-I don’t know…what were you saying?”

“I was just telling you to smile but its ok, let’s go back to the tree” Emery jumped from the tree and nudged Ansel, smiling and walking beside him, perhaps a bit closer than before. “Sorry about your picture. I just spaced out. “It’s ok, I got one anyway, you looked cute.” Emery said flashing a side dimple from his smile. Ansel took Emery by the hand, locking his fingers between Emery’s. Emery tried to hide his smile, turning away and pretending to look at the forest surrounding them, but Ansel it seemed like Emery didn’t want to him to hold his hand.

“you know, if you don’t want to hold my hand…I’ll let go.” He said, taking his hand away from Emery’s before he could answer. Emery frowned, instantly regretting looking away when Ansel took hold on his hand.“No” he said, reattaching his hand to Ansel, “I don’t mind.” Looking at Ansel with a grin and side eyes.

Ansel smiled in excitement and joy after hearing Emery’s words, crashing his lips on Emery’s and this time he wasn’t surprised when Emery’s kissed back. They stopped for a moment, deepening their kiss each breathe they took between the touch of their lips grazing across one another. Emery quickly snapped photo of them, in hopes of capturing the moment he had been longing for ever since he saw Ansel crystal blue eyes look up at him when he walked out his apartment and their lips met for the first time. He loved the feeling of their tongues dancing together in their mouths, and how Ansel’ smooth, tasteful lips felted against his own. Ansel was completely lost in the intimate moment, his eyes closed shut; allowing him to just surrender to impulsive moment he himself had also been longing for. Their lips parted and their eyes met, the blue icy frost of Ansel’ eyes met the bright emerald green of Emery’s; completely lost into each other for a moment. “Wow” they said in unison. After letting out a soft breathless chuckle Ansel rested his head on Emery’s shoulder, whispering a “thank you” and then kissing the edge of his neck and taking his hand to continued walking.

When they got to the tree Ansel noticed that his afternoon art class was about to start in a few minutes, “well I guess I have play hookie today, hm.” Even though creating master pieces had been Ansel’ passion and a lifelong dream he couldn’t pass up being able to gaze and admire a master piece that had been created perfectly and up for display only for him, the only thing was Emery’s wasn’t just for him. Emery wasn’t even partly his, he was taken, someone’s, he had someone to go home to. He had a home with someone, and it broke his heart to know that, that someone, didn’t care for him the way someone as spectacular as Emery should be cared for. He knew Emery couldn’t see how beautiful he was, or how much someone much someone could really appreciate him. Emery was like a painting, created from beauty and inspiration only to hang in the corner of a coffee shop that one noticed because it was blending into the decorated matching scenery, except the one person who returned to the coffee shop and sat in the same seat every day just to admire that one painting. Taking in the genuine beauty and emotions within the painting and finding a new detail to admire every time they went back then shedding a tear because no one had ever and will never appreciate the master piece hung on a simple wall in a simple coffee shop. Ansel knew he could be much more for Emery. He couldn’t give him the world but he could certainly paint it exactly the way Emery wanted him too. He thought if he could paint anything Emery desired he could show him that he could give him a different world, a world they created, a world specially made for only them; A world that was worthy of the beauty of Emerys’ beautiful presence.

After returning to the tree they sat and talked for a few hours. Laughing and turning all shades of pinks and red after watching the other laugh at one’s embarrassing story, but still sharing a laugh with one other. They talked about their mothers, their fathers, their siblings, Ansel shared his dream about owning an art gallery and Emery shared his dream for being a lingerie photographer. Ansel giggled when he heard that Emery wanted to photograph people in lace panties but told him it was up to him and he had his support.

While Emery was telling Ansel a story about he and his sister and trip to France Ansel secretly picked petals off of a carnation, chanting in his mind , “he loves me, he loves me not” , after every other petal he pulled off. When the last petal landed on “he loves me”, he tried everything he could to not jump up and down and dance around Emery but his smile reached from one half of his cheek to the other and it only made Emery question his sudden random boost of happiness. He told him his stories weren’t all that exciting and Ansel just chuckled and nodded his head in slight agreement; resting his head on Emery’s shoulder and encouraging him to continue the story.

After an hour of Ansel playing with Emery’s curls, sticking his finger in a ringlet and pulling on them then watched as they bounced back into place. All while Emery was laid on Ansel’ lap continuing on with a story Ansel didn’t care to pay attention to; he was more interested on watching how Emery’s plump pink lips clasped together and the impeccable sound coming from Emery’s mouth, and how his lips shaped the words he was speaking so beautifully; he didn’t want him to stop so he continued to pretend like he was interested on listening to another story about Emery’s cat or how he discovered a new fruit in a random part of grocery store. Ansel decided to invite Emery over for dinner before Emery had to go home. Plus it would make it easier to have a witness to murder when Ansel told Naomi he hadn’t gone to class that day because lord knows that women could find out where you last took a deep breathe just by looking at you. They stood up and grabbed their belongings the headed to the truck, laughing along the trail way because they had found ways to use a few inside jokes they made.When they arrived back to the old Chevy truck Emery hopped in first, opening the passenger door for Ansel because the lock system had broken a few week prior then started up the engine, revving the engine; showing off for Ansel more than he needed too. After a few seconds of listening to the growling purr of the truck they started up to Ansel’ apartment.

After a short music infested ride they arrived at Ansel’. When they got to the door step Ansel opened the door to the apartment, stepping inside with Emery following right behind him. Ansel kicked off his shoes, exposing his bare feet, rubbing them on the carpeted floor then walking further into the apartment to setting down his bag to find a vase for the bouquet of flowers Emery gave to him. Emery followed, gently taking off his shoes and neatly placing them beside the door where he could find them later on. After filling a vase with water and sticking the beautifully beautiful arrangement of flowers in side Ansel placed them on the coffee table in the living room.

“Soda?” he offered, delaying for a moment then looking over to Emery.

“Um sure”, Emery replied, grinning at the way Ansel smiled at the vase, twisting it around to find the right view of them. “Coke, pineapple or apple?” he asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Pineapple!” Emery shouted a little bit too excitedly and with an enormous smile and slight giggle. Ansel laughed as he handed the soda over to Emery and opened his own, taking a sip then sitting beside Emery.

“So what are you going to poison ourselves with?” he said sarcastically.

“Huh?” Emery questioned, looking at Ansel with a raised brow and lips attached to his soda can.

“What are you going to attempt to make? Like, food?” he replied, taking another sip from his coke.

“Wait” Emery’s head tilted in amusement, “you can’t cook, can you?”

Ansel cheeks flushed pink, “I can too! I make a mean cereal!”

They laughed together, Emery almost chocking on the sip of pineapple soda he had just taken and Ansel squealing like a piglet then immediately blushing because of the incredibly horrendous noise coming from his throat which only made them both laugh that much harder. “But, seriously, do you cook?” Emery asked again, wiping the tears from his eye from laughing so hard.

“Yeah! My toast is great after you scrape the tops of it”, he smiled at Emery then let out a tiny chuckle, “I’m joking, No I don’t cook.” When they caught back their breath, Emery stood and walked into the kitchen. “Well I guess I’d have to cook for us then”, he said, grinning to Ansel. Emery took of his jacket nad folded it over the chair closest to him. Emery forearm was wrapped in a white bandage. He needed something to stop the bleeding and hide the scares for he wrapped it up and had forgotten about it till now, covering things up was second nature to Emery by now he didn’t think about that much anymore. “Why is your arm wrapped up?”

“Oh I burned myself the other day trying to be artist with some photos, I had to cover it so I wouldn’t grow another arm” he nervously smiled. Ansel shrugged then agreed to let Emery cook, letting Emery search through the kitchen shelves and pantry for anything he needed. “So I guess I’ll just sit here then”, Ansel yawned, sitting in the most convenient seat at the dining table. “You know, since you had me take photos of you, you should draw me something”

Ansel always dreaded when people asked him to draw things for them. Isn’t the whole point of being an artist to be free and not take orders from people? At least, in Ansel’ mind, that’s why he was an artist. But, of course, when Emery asked him and instantly agreed and shot off to grab a sketch pad and the new tin book of pencils he had gotten for his birthday, along with a full box of Primsa colored pencils. “So do you want me to draw you a curtain way? An outfit? A place?” he asked, taking a seat and fixing his supplies the way he was used to working with; The tin box in the upper right hand corner and the colors on the left next to a sharpener.

“However you’d like. You’re the artist” Emery replied, searching in the fridge for vegetables. He set a pot of water to boil and also prepared a side of rice on a pan, browning the rice first before tossing it into a second pot he had. Ansel’ eyes fluttered, he hadn’t ever been, at least not genuinely. The comment was nothing more than a title of occupation but the way the sound spilled from Emery’s lips warmed his chest and his face, creating a blushing grin. “Okay”, the replied examining Emery from head to toe. He had drawn Emery a few times before but now he had the chance to perfect every detail; the way Emery’s toes pointed slightly inward of the way he walked in a circle just to turn to the side a grab another vegetable he had set out.

To be honest Emery looked like a lost child looking for his mother when he lost his ingredients; franticly searching for it around the kitchen when smirking to himself when he found it like he was mentally telling himself a joke about a pun using the item. After starring at Emery for the Past few minutes Ansel picked up a pencil and began to sketch an outline of Emery standing over a stove, smelling a pot of soup he had been preparing. After drawing the outline of the sketch he started clean up the image, erasing the unwanted marks and weird lines that he had corrected by making a dark one over it in the shape he wanted.

Meanwhile, Emery, after tended to the boiling pot of vegetable soup; capping it with a glass top, he turned to the pieces of chicken he set out to clean in a bowl of water under the facet rubbing off any blood and slicing off the skin from the meat and tossing them into a frying pan drizzling spices over them and them some oil. He swerved the pan around to make sure the spices were spread though out the pan to the chicken could marinate. He cut up some carrots and celery and mixed it with the pieces of meat in the pan the capped the pan with its corresponding glass top. He threw away all the unneeded pieces of veggies and plastics from the packages the chicken came in, then took a wet cloth and wiped down the counters making sure to clean up the mess he made.

Ansel had just begun to finalize all the base colors as well as the colors he mixed them with and has moved down to shading, starting with the teal cabinets that were chipped and revealed the dark brown wood underneath. Naomi said it made the apartment look vintage and Ansel... Well Ansel was too lazy to even care if the cabinets were chipped or not. The counters of his kitchen were yellow and with hints of white scattered around (faded out designs). He finished the scenery and focused of Emery. Ansel started filling in the pieces. First: the hair; he scribbled the base color then added darker and lighter streaks throughout the waves and curls on the locks and blended some together. Then the grey’s and blacks on the shirt he was wearing (careful to leave the logo of the band unmarked because they were white), then his dark blue jeans and so on. After about 15 minutes, the quick sketch was done. He forced Emery to close his eyes, holding the paper close to his chest and biting down on the smile he was trying to conceal all while trying his best not to squeal like he did earlier. He signed it and smiled. Ansel held up the piece of paper in which is master piece had be created and called to Emery to open his eyes.

Emery gasped. His jaw dropped and his hands came up to cover it. “Wow Lou!” he smiled and took the page Ansel, looking at the detail in the drawing. “This is amazing! So wonderful” he exclaimed then hugged Ansel while he was still sitting down. Ansel cheeks kind of hurt, he hadn’t smiled that big in a long time and muscles screamed for both joy and pain. “I love it, thank you Lou”, he kissed his cheek and stood back up, pulling out the seat next to Ansel’ and sitting in it. Ansel blushed. “I’m so glad you like it Emery”, he said, smiling back to Emery. “Listen, Lou. I’m noting going to be here for the next week or so. I’m going my mother’s to visit her and my sister.” Emery informed. “Oh…okay” Ansel bit his lip then grinned, placing his hand over Emery’s, rubbing his thumb over the top off his hand. “It’s Okay, we can hang out when you get back then.” He cooed. Emery smiled and nodded in agreement.

It was nearing 5 o’clock and Ansel guess that Naomi was on her way home and was probably going to barge in, shouting about how he wasn’t in class today. Usually when Ansel had class Naomi walked over to the studio and they had dined out that evening. Ansel knew he was in for a full ear and to be honest he was tad bit scared and nervous. Naomi was sweet as sugar but when she got rattled up she was worse than a momma bear protecting her cubs. “If Naomi kills me, you can have my painting”, he told Emery. Emery simply answered by a raise of his brow and look of confusion but nodded as if he knew what Ansel was talking about. Ansel heard footsteps inching closer to the door.

“enjoy the show” he whispered to Emery.

Keys jiggled at the door lock and a moment later the door swung open. “ANSEL WILJAMES TOMLINSON!!” she shouted, slamming the door behind her.

“your name is WilJames?” Emery looked at Ansel and cheeky grin.

“Hush. Don’t make fun of me. I’m about to die.” He chuckled out.

“YES?!” Ansel called over to Naomi. “Where were yo-“ Noami paused realizing Emery was standing behind Ansel. “Hi there?” he said to Emery.

“Hello, Naomi. How are you today?” he smiled.

“I’m fine. Ansel however, “ she looked over at him with her hand of her hips and scolding, disapproving look, “how are you Ansel? Don’t look sick to me.”

“I know he was supposed to go to class today but I kind of invited him to the park and we lost track of time. I’m sorry Naomi. I’ll pay for the class and it won’t happen again. I promise” He quickly replied before Ansel had a chance too. Naomi relaxed and accepted the apology. She was still mad at Ansel but she figured she couldn’t scare off the only friend Ansel seemed to make other than the people at work. She nodded and walked to her room, throwing her stuff on the bed then returned to the kitchen. “Ansel, I swear. If you burned any of my pans, I’m going to murder you.”

Emery giggled. “If you don’t mind I made dinner. I was careful so I’m sure none of your dishes got burned”

Naomi smirked, “oh well as long as I get to eat the dinner Ansel didn’t take me too, It’s okay.”

“Ansel help me set up. You have the poor man slaving over the stove while you sit at the table just waiting. I’ve raised you better than this!” Ansel stammered, trying to stand up from himself but was stunned and frankly, he didn’t want to make Naomi any more upset than she already was.

He walked to cabinet, grabbing a set of plates and placed them on the table then set of the spoons and forks beside them. Naomi got the trivets from the bottom drawer, setting them on the table to put the pans of food over them so they didn’t have to keep getting up.

“This smells great, Emery! Where did you learn how to cook?”

“My mum” he replied, smiling so hard his dimples had dimples, “and thank you.”

“Alright let’s eat?”

The three of them sat and ate. Naomi shared stories of the times Ansel tried to cook and almost burned the apartment down and Ansel shared stories about Naomi almost burning the apartment down when she forgot about a cake she made” Emery’s face red from all the laughing and his cheek hurt from smiling so hard. By the time they were done eating and sharing embarrassing stories it was almost 7. Emery looked at the clock on his phone then stuck it back in his pocket. “Sorry to leave right after to dinner but I have to visit my sister and go home to pack.”

“Oh, no you’re fine Emery.” Naomi assured him, smiling then picking up the plates and taking them to the sink. “I’d love to have dinner again sometime though.” He offered. “That’d be lovely Emery; we’d love to have you anytime.” She winked at him and then looked at Ansel with a cheeky smile, “Some more than others.” She and Emery giggled while Ansel’ cheek grew red and white hot.

“Alright, Alright.”, Ansel stood from the table to Show Emery out.  “I’ll get your bag” he walked to sofa where their bags were and handed Emery his. “Alright, bye Naomi! I hope I wasn’t a problem for distracting Lou. “he smiled and waved as Ansel opened the door, walking out after getting a wave back from Naomi. Ansel followed, shutting the door behind him.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Emery asked.

“Dinner… and covering for me. She’s trying to help me and she gets really upset when I don’t do things I say I’m going to.”

“Oh, you’re welcome. Dinner was no problem, I like cooking.”

Emery stepped closer to Ansel, leaning on one arm against the railing. “I liked cooking for you.” He smiled. They were now nose to nose and the urge to not attack each other to the ground and snog was unbearable but they both kept cool about it (even though every Inch of their bodies were screaming to make some sort of move.)

“I liked it too.” Ansel whispered, licking his lips and felling a bit nervous.

“Fuck it”, Emery crashed his lips to Ansel, and pulling closer to his body. Within seconds Emery had him against the wall. Their breathless kisses were sloppy but refreshing. Emery’s hand cupped Ansel’ cheek, eventually making its way to the back of his head, gripping at his soft, feather like hair. It was the perfect moment after the perfect day. Ansel stopped for a moment, catching his breath then slamming into Emery’s neck, careful not to leave a mark. He chuckled when he heard a soft moaned from Emery’s lips, then bit softly into his skin.

“Ansel.” He groaned.

They were interrupted by Naomi opening the door and staring at them. They glanced at her then looked at each other, clearing their throats before Emery took a step back. “You do know they saying is ‘You have to buy me dinner first’ right?” she chuckled; leaving the bag of trash she was holding by the railing then going back inside. Emery coughed into his palm, nervously smiling at Ansel. Their cheeks were both flush and pink. Ansel smirked and stepped closer to Emery, placing his hands on his Emery’s hips, pulling him in and kissing him again. This time the kiss was slow and deeper than the last. It last for a quick second but to them it was second to be each other’s. Alone. No one but them existed. Emery was free from Killian’s grasp and Ansel finally had a chance to be happy.  “I like you” Emery whispered unto Ansel lips.

Ansel smiled, leaned back to look into Emery’s bright green eyes. “I like you too.” He whispered back.

Emery bit his lip softly and grinned. “I have to go” He said, pecking Ansel’ lips, hugging him tightly and walked away. Ansel just stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at Emery as he walked away to his truck then drove away; disappearing again. He soon remembered that Emery had a boyfriend and started to regret the kissed they had just shared. Emery secretly felt the same way. Although he was starting to like Ansel more and more he couldn’t ignore the fact that already had someone in his life. And once again he found himself stuck between the type of person that gave him life, and the person that could make that life worth living. He didn’t regret kissing Ansel, to him it was one of the best discussions he had made in a long time. Ansel walked back inside, ignoring the trash bag. “He brought you flowers?” Naomi asked, smelling them and setting them back down on the table. “Yes. He met me at the park and he had those with him.” he replied, sitting beside her, taking the rose from the middle and smelling it.

“Perfect isn’t he?” he smiled into the flower as he inhaled the sweet aroma. “hmm”, Naomi didn’t agree nor disagreed. She looked at Ansel and noticed how happy he was. “Ansel.” She softly said. “I know. I know. You don’t have to tell me. I know.” He quietly replied. She placed a hand over his knee and rubbed it with her thumb, “I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I know. I’m trying bubs.” He stood and walked to his room, shutting the door behind him.

~

Emery was on way home when he remembered he had to develop the photo he had taken that evening before Killian had a chance to get back and see them. He drove over to a tiny shop a few blocks away from Ansel’ coffee shop. He parked in the back of store, where he was sure no one would see his truck. Emery grabbed his bag and walked to the front of the little store and walked inside. “Sis!” he called out. “Jemma!?” he walked to the back of the counter and into the managers room. “Hello there beautiful!”

“Emery!” A young lady, older than Emery, stood from behind a desk and hugged Emery, kissing his cheek and rubbing his arm. She was a bit shorter than he was same body build except a bit curvier. Her hair wasn’t as curly but a tad wavy, not to mention is was colored blue and purple. “How have you been Emery? What fabulous shot do you have for me this month?”

“My shots aren’t fabulous. but I do have some stuff I need done quickly.” Emery shrugged, “Killian.”

 She cringed, “I don’t want to hear that name. I don’t even know why you’re with him kitten. He’s nothing but bad news for you.”

“I didn’t come here for a lecture, gem.” He frowned, playing with his finger nail, “can we develop the film please.” Jemma sighed, “Okay.” He gestured out of the room then lead Emery to the wet room. “Knock yourself out, love” she smiled. Emery stopped for a moment, “well I was hoping you would help me out, and talk for a bit.” Jemma was confused at Emery sudden idea to actually include her in developing his photographs. “um, alright.” She said, raising a brow. “hand me a flim.”

As they started to develop each film Emery had he struck up a conversation about the time they took a trip to Paris when they were small children and got after eating too many chocolate crepes. They laughed and remembered all the fun times they had growing up. Jemma was about the only person (other than his own mother) that understood Emery. She was the big sister that was always getting in trouble for protecting her little brother. She was always just a few feet away. Emery was bullied when he was young. When he was around 13 , he discovered razors. He started self-harming, wishing he could change himself and the way he felt inside. It was almost like he felt someone inside him, literally inside him, and he wanted to carve him out. Jemma once found Emery in a small pool of blood and rushed him to the hospital. He was on suicide watch for a week before getting released to his family. Jemma swore she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Emery and she intended to keep that promise, until Emery ran away and met Killian.  Killian quickly picked up on Jemma’s protectiveness and forbid Emery from talking to her, as well as seeing her. (Which was why he was surprised Killian let him come see her, of course under the impression she was sick.) As Jemma was developing one of the films she noticed one with Emery kissing someone. “Wow, he lets you photograph him now?”

“Who?” he asked, not even bothering to look at the photo she held up.

The image cleared.

“Emery? Who is this?”

Emery’s eyes widened. “Um.”

Jemma was standing there with the photo of Ansel and Emery kissing, stunned look on her face and waiting for Emery to tell her who the man was.

“Emery!” she shouted, showing him the photo. Emery couldn’t decide to smile at the photo or continue staring at his sister while he tried to find a way to tell her he was actually cheating on Killian.

“Uh…His name is Ansel Tomlinson.”

“Well he’s cute, but what is he doing kissing you. More important, what are YOU doing kiss HIM?”

He told her about the night he ran away and how he ended in a coffee shop in the corner of nowhere not far from her shop. He told her about the day the spent together, the kisses, how he was a painter and the way he made coffee.

Jemma could literally see Emery’s eyes lighting up with every piece of information he told her about Ansel.

“You bought him flowers?” she asked.

He nodded.

“And you like him?” she asked trying to process everything Emery was telling her.

“Yes.” He answered.

“Does Killian know anything about him?”

“No.”

“Well, you better hope it stays that way. On the other hand I want to meet this Ansel Tomlinson. You should bring him to mums on Thursday.”

“I’ll see. Now, stop snooping and develop my photos please!” he laughed, sticking his tongue out at her and teasing about her `blurple’ hair.

“Whatever” she shouted.

“Hey Gem, you think you can make a scrap book or some sort of, like, gift?”

“Um Sure? Any color or print ideas?”

“Well, Red looks good on him, so red.” he blushed, biting his lip and he tried to tone down his smile. She chuckled, “Alright, keep hanging them up to dry and I’ll what I have.” Emery kept developing the photos, hanging them in the string of threads above their heads to dry them out. He smiled when he saw a clear image of Ansel. Some of the photos were cute and humorous but others where beautiful.  He stopped and picked up a photo of Ansel smiling and covering his mouth with his wrist. If only he knew what was on Emery’s wrist. If only Jemma knew what was on Emery’s wrist. Jemma came back with sheets of paper and a photobook with images of broken on the covers of it. “That’s awesome gem! I like it.”

“I picked it out, of course you like it, loser.” She smiled at him are started to cut the pieced of red paper to fix in the sheets of the booklet. Emery’s phone buzzed. It was a time he had set for 9:00 pm. “Gem I have to go, can you finish this for me, I’ll be by in the morning if you want to wait.”

“Yeah, I’ll finish. If I let you help you’ll probably end up gluing your hands together again.”

“oh my god, That was one time, gem. Let it go” he groaned as he kissed he cheek and hugged tightly. He walked toward the back door then walked out, getting into his truck and driving off. He parked his truck in his empty garage at the abandoned car shop then walked home, sneaking in through the back and getting back inside before any guards could see him.

“Killian?” he called out, but no one answered. He assumed Killian was still out and went upstairs to pack some clothes for his trip to his mothers. He packed enough clothes for a week, mentally checking of a list he made in his mind. After he was done he sat on the bed, laying down and resting into the white soft sheets. His head hit one of the pillows and he left out a deep sign, letting his body melt into the mattress. He closed his eyes for just a second and dozed off. 

He hadn’t been able to rest in weeks, with Killian’s frustration growing and growing Emery began to feel the deep, desperate need to escape. He felt the need to get out of cage Killian had locked him inside of.  Now that he had something, which he thought, he could forward too, he thought he could actually go through with leaving. He thought he could just simply run away as long as he never looked back, but you always look back. You have to look back, and that’s what always got him right back in the arms of the beautiful beast he called his love.

He awoke form his brief nap half an hour later, startled by a dream he had about running of an edge of a cliff, clutching the sheets around to try and stop himself from falling. He sighed and leaned up, sitting on the edge of messy, tangled duvet. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands trying to wake himself up.  He looked at the alarm clock beside him. 11:45 flashed in and out of focus from his sleepy eyes. He sighed, reaching for his phone and dialing Killian. He had woken up with a throbbing headache that made soft rings of outgoing call made his head rattle. The deep voice answered after the fourth ring, “Yeah?”

“Killian? Are you ok? You sound like you’re out of breath is everything ok?”

“Yes, Emery. What do you need? I’m busy with a meeting?”

“Killian, I’m heading out now. I’ll be at my mother’s for the next week. I’ve told the neighbor the water the plants in the front garden only.”, Emery paused he listen closely to the other end of the line. He heard soft muffled sound coming from Killian’s end. “Killian? What is that?” he questioned, listening a bit closer.

“Nothing. Keep your phone on and answer what I cal-“, Killian stopped talking, and suddenly groaned. “Sorry, I just, um, hit my leg, But like I said, keep your phone with you or ill come get you.”

Killian hung up without another word. Emery knew what Killian was doing and he’d be lying if he said he was furious but what could he do? Confront the man he was afraid of? Or confront the man the man he was afraid of about something he was doing too. After a quiet moment with his angry, rambling thought, he felt his phone vibrate in his hand. He grabbed his bags and headed out to the driveway, stuffing the bags into the truck of a tiny car then getting in the driver’s seat and drive off. He took a look at the name and wondered why the person was calling him so late.

“Hello?” he answered

“So have you thought about it?”


	8. Chapter 8

“Yes, I’ve thought about it but-“

 “GREAT! See you tomorrow! 8 o’clock! You know where.”

Emery chuckled at the fact that he thought he even had a choice. He grabbed his bags and headed out to the driveway, stuffing the bags into the truck of a tiny car, which he hated, (he called it a clown car because of how small and spacious it was. He thought he was much too big for it but Killian insisted on it only because it made himself look manlier) then getting in the driver’s seat and zooming off.

~

After finishing his third bowl on chicken and veggie soup Ansel walked out of his bedroom, licking his finger from picking out the pieces of chicken and cleaning off the bone of leg piece, to put his bowl in the sink for Naomi to wash. He heard Naomi was talking on the phone. He figured it was someone from the literacy program bugging her about joining their clubs or something so he dismissed it, until he noticed that she wasn’t rejecting any offers or lying about being busy. He couldn’t hear what she was saying so he leaned against the corner of the wall of the door way to the living room. Naomi was standing with her back to Ansel and her arms folded under her chin counter, whispering into the phone that was pressed to her ear. Ansel cleared his throat and walked over to the kitchen sink. Naomi tried to play off the fact that she had been caught being what she thought was sneaky, meanwhile Ansel was standing in front of the sink with his arms open wide and his hands planted on each side of the sinks’  metal edge with his head slightly tilted to the side with a smirk on his face. “Who was that?” he smiled. “A new boyfriend?” Ansel teased looking at Naomi like a big brother teasing his sister about a crush at school. “No! Just a friend.” She answered, giggling right after. “uh-huh” he snared.

“And what about your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have one.” He blankly stated. Although he knew there was something between Emery he knew he couldn’t but a label on something that already had a label on its’ own. “Oh, yeah? And these flowers? Random guys that get beat up by their boyfriend don’t just buy flowers for a random person who makes them coffee and draws them 24/7”, she replied.

“He was being nice.” He walked over the living room and sat in front of the flower arrangement. Naomi chuckled, “Love, you do know flowers have meaning, right? Remember I told you my dad use to work in a flower shop? Yeah, well I was always with him and guess what? I know what these flowers mean and just me, it wasn’t random. I promise you someone like Emery doesn’t just pick random flowers from any bucket.” Ansel started to process what Naomi was saying then started to trace back to what Emery had tried to tell him. “I’m glad you like them, I had a little help picking them out but I’m so glad you like them, I didn’t know if you liked flowers or the colors you liked so I guess kind o-“ , he remembered. He looked to Naomi, “he told me he had help picking them.” His grin started to slowly spread across his face. “See! Do I know boy or do I know boys.” She sassed smirking to herself. “Would you like to know what they mean?” she asked, sitting beside him.

“Yes.”

  “Ok. That striped Carnation? It means No like as in a refusal. He’s saying he cannot be with you but he wishes he could.” Ansel scoffed, “and how do you know he wishes he could? Hm?”

“Will. You. Shut. UP. I’m seriously explaining the meaning of these beautiful flowers your man got you and you’re sitting here like he ain’t in love with you. Psht. Bitch please. See, look what you did. You made me get upset, making my blood pressure rise and shit.” She rolled her eyes at and Ansel, who was halfway through suffocating to death because he loved when she got angry and went off on him.

“Anyway! As I was saying before I was so RUDLY interrupted, how I know he wanted to be with you, in the other Carnation. The solid color ones mean yes, as a sign of approval. The white ones symbolize loveliness and sweetness and sometimes: True love.”

Ansel smiled at the flowers in front of him, his cheeks red and flush from laughing only moments before, imagining Emery walking through the aisles of the flower shop, bending down to smell the deep scents of the flowers as he raised one from the middle of the bundle because it stuck out to him.

“Ok, see the single rose?”

Ansel picked up it and brought it to his face for a quick smell. “Yeah.” He answered twisting the flower by rolling it between his thumb and index finger back and forth, while Naomi began to speak again.

“Coral means Desire. And you can probably guess why it’s only a single rose.” She paused. “lou?”

“yeah he blankly replied. “he likes you. You like him. Don’t let this prick come between that.” She rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment then stood and walked away to her bedroom. As he felt Naomi further away from him he whispered. He’s already between us.

~

The Next morning Ansel awoke, at 7:30 am, to the bright, crisp smell of buttermilk pancakes and the bitter sweet smell of coffee roasting in the coffee machine Naomi stole form the coffee shop’s back room. It hadn’t been used in months so she thought it be nice to give it a new home where she’d be sure it would be used every day or at least a few times a week. Ansel wearing his long plaid pajamas and half fitted half stretched out t-shirt got up to pee before rushing out into the kitchen. He took a big whiff of the goods and sat at the table, greeting Naomi with a good morning and a big goofy smile. “Why are you making pancakes?” he asked, already knowing the answer, or so he thought. “No reason”, Naomi replied, not bothering to look up because she was still half asleep and trying hard to stay awake, “we’re out of bacon and sausage so this was the only thing.”  Ansel’ smile slowly died, his lips pouted a tiny bit without his knowledge. “Oh.” He said, and then mumbled, “You forgot.”

“what, love?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“I’m going to take a shower and get ready for work. Your pancakes are on the plate and the coffee is in the thingy.” Naomi said, walking away with a little devious smirk on her face. She grabbed her phone form the couch and began to type away at her screen as she walked into the restroom in the hall way.

Ansel sat for a second before he got up to get breakfast, which he ate by himself. He kept thinking about what Naomi had said the night before about his flowers; he looked over and noticed the bouquet bundled together inside the vase. He smiled and continued to eat away at his pancakes, pouring a tiny bit of syrup every so often to moisten his pancakes. Without his mum or Naomi around to tell him he was going to be diabetic due to all the syrup he drowned his pancakes in he was thrilled to have a little bit of peace and quiet while he ate, that is, until he heard Naomi scream from the bathroom. “Don’t drink the syrup!! I can’t pay the bills by myself!”

Ansel rolled his eyes and dropped his fork on his plate. He realized he had two cheeks full of syrup soaked pancakes and tried to shuffle the pieces with his tongue, hopping they would dissolve in his mouth, which, over the course of 5 minutes or so, did. He poured himself a glass of milk and drank to the last drop, then walked over the counter behind him and prepared his morning coffee.

When Naomi was finally out of the Shower and into her bedroom to dress, Ansel had already finished his cup of hazelnut cream coffee and dragged himself into the shower. Naomi took the time to make a few last minute phone calls. She called Easton to make sure he was going to be at the Shop. He was. She got a hold of James and asked for him to be at the shop by 6. He was kind of hesitant but agreed, given the occasion. After making identical called to everyone she and Ansel knew she heard the water from the shower turn off. She rushed to her bed room and grabbed her back, bolting toward the door before Ansel had the chance to see her dressed.  She sent him a text when she got to the corner of the block.

To: Lou Bear

Message: Hey , Easton wanted me early. He said you can take your time but he needs you to pick up a few things before you go in.

Meanwhile, Ansel had just stepped out of the shower, his towel wrapped about his waist and drying his hair with other that was hung on the rank beside the mirror. He walked out of the bathroom and saw that Naomi had left, so he searched for his phone. Once he grabbed it from the sofa, unplugging it form the wall charger it had been connected to all night. He read the message from Naomi and sighed. How could they forget my birthday, he thought. He shrugged and walked back to his bedroom to get dressed but his bed looked awfully comfy and warm. He laid down on the black sheets and black and grey “use-anyway-you-want” Walmart comforter. Ansel reached for his phone and clicked open his messages, tapping the name “Emery<3(:” and typing in the message box.

 

To: Emery<3(;

Message: hey(;

 

He smirked and thought if no one was going to birthday morning fun; he would. He walked over to the mirror and wrapped the towel around his waist so it was close to falling off but still held up, just below his hipbones. He snapped a picture, then another and another and then a couple more from different angles, and of course trying to flex his stomach muscles as much as he could without looking like he was in a desperate need to go to the bathroom. He dropped the towel and snapped a picture, this time without his face. He thought for a moment and smiled. He turned around with one hand on the bed and the other holding the cell phone. He took one step out with his left foot and popped his bum slightly up and snapped one last photo. Once, he was satisfied with the pictures he had taken he got dressed, he figured it was if birthday so he kind of had to dress nice, so he chose a black button up and only-once-used dark blue jeans and his only pair of non-sneaker shoes. He slicked his hair up in a quiff but cringed. He didn’t like the way it came out. His mother was always the one who did his “important day” hair and to be perfectly honest, he missed it.  He decided on a slick “hair to the side but ending in a twist” look. He was proud of the name he came up with for his hair style, even if it was the dorkiest thing ever. When he was done styling and grooming himself he walked back to his bed when he saw that Emery had texted him back.

 

From:  Emery<3(:

Message: Hello handsome (;

 

Ansel smirked and opened an attachment to insert a photo into his message. He started with the first picture he took. Simple and not too revealing.  When Emery texted back with an “ooh..(;” he smiled and sent the next one. Simple and kind of revealing. This time Emery replied with a picture of his own. It only showed his lower body but with his hand reaching, but not quite in, his pants. Ansel heart started to race a little bit. His sighs were lengthy, shallow and ended with smirk every time. He texted back with three photos in one message, making sure Emery had something to drool over. The last pictures were those of him bare and one of him showing his bum while bent over the bed. He half hesitated to show that one but he knew he could trust Emery and waited for his reply.

From: Emery<3(:

Message:  god you look good!(;  …Perfect body. <3

He smiled and replied, “oh yeah?” then attached the two remaining photos and sent it.

He sat of the edge of the bed and waited for a reply. He was started to get nervous, check the time every few seconds and getting a little antsy when the number didn’t change. He felt is phone buzz.

From: Emery<3(:

Message: fuuuck…. I’ve never …finished…so hard from just visuals…. Jesus<3(;

He chuckled and replied, “I wish you were here…(;”

From: Emery<3(:

Message: oh gosh(; so do i<3 I have to go right now though. I promise we’ll talk later. <3

 

Ansel glanced at the time and saw that it was almost  12 o’clock. He felt frustrated that 1. Naomi forgot his birthday and so did Easton and 2. They were actually making him go errand shopping for the shop and on top of everything he still hadn’t gotten a call from his sisters or his mum. Strange, he thought, yet ignored it and texted Naomi to send him a picture of the list. He grabbed his wallet, bag, sunglasses and headed out the door. Once he came to the corner store where he had first encountered Killian and Emery in the middle of what Emery had said was a “little fight”, he shook the memory and walked inside, tilting his sunglasses to the top of his head and blinking his eyes as he adjusted to the light. He grabbed a cart and walked around to the first aisle and make his way through the entire store within in 45 minutes, gather all the things on the list. As he was checking out his pocket vibrated. He checked his phone and a message from Emery had come in. two photos. One of Emery in a red and black suit and another in a blue and black and the message read, “which one?” Ansel was already mentally drooling within seconds of staring at the red and black suit so he suggested that one.

To: Emery<3(:

Message: red<3(:  …what’s it for?

From: Emery<3(:

Message: going out with my sister tonight, I heard there was going to be a party with some friends so I figured why not, right? So…red?”

To:  Emery<3(:

Message: oh, sounds nice. Yeah, red.

Ansel stuck his phone back in his pocket. He knew Emery couldn’t have known about his birthday, after all they didn’t really know that much about each other and he hadn’t even told him. His phone buzzed again.

From: Babba-Butt

Message:  Hey, there’s mold break out in the storage room. Easton said he doesn’t want you to get an allergic reaction so we’re closing for today. Take all the stuff and home and see you later. Xx

Ansel let out a growling sigh as he gathered the bags of groceries and head out the revolving doors of the corner store. He went home and slept for a few hours after having a cold pineapple soda and watching a quick rerun of CSI where Grissom was still around. Grissom was his favorite character, mostly because he was the outcast but more so the fact that he was the outcast that everyone looked up too. Everyone loved him. And Ansel wanted to be loved by everyone, contrary to the way he felt that day. Sitting on his couch alone, in his apartment alone, spending his birthday alone. He wasn’t as mad as he thought he should have been. He felt more disappointed rather than angry but then again he did say he didn’t want a party so he couldn’t really be angry at anything or anyone. Still, a little dinner and cake would hurt or maybe just a call from the people he thought loved him, he thought.

“Lou-Bear? Louuuu-Bear! Wake uuuup!” a soft sweet voice echoed around Ansel head, he felt a pair pf hand stroking the back of hair making him shiver like a dog getting  scratching in the perfect place.

“Guahh!” Ansel shot up from the couch and sat up. “Jesus! Don’t scare me like that! I thought you were going to kill me!” He yelled. “Death by tickle? Okay? Anyway, come on, put your shoes on, we’re going to dinner.” Naomi bossed, handing Ansel the shoes he had kicked off when he walked in 4 hours before.

“What time is it? Why are we going out?” he was half asleep and half annoyed, slipping on his shoes with his eyes shut and yawning like a lion. “Wake up!!” Naomi shouted back, “and because I need food? I am human?” she waited for Ansel to tie his shoes and gather his things. “Al’ight letss g’” he mumbled blinking his eyes and sleepily walking hand in hand with Naomi to the next to catch the bus.

 

Ansel had fully woken up by now and was more aware about where he was and where he was going. “I did you take your sleeping pills?”, Naomi asked, fixing Ansel’ hair as he rested against  her shoulder. “Yeah, only half of one.” He replied.

Naomi kissed Ansel temple and sighed.  They arrived at the block of the coffee shop. “I thought there was a mold thingy? I can’t be here?”  Ansel said, standing up and walking behind Naomi like there was man trying to shoot  him. “Oh, um, Easton had the guys come out. I’m sure it’s done by now. I just forgot something then we can leave. Ok?”

Ansel sighed and nodded in agreement then walked behind her. The lights of the coffee shop were turned off and the shades’ were down.  The shades are never down he thought to himself while Naomi was unlocking the door. He thought about Killian and something his gut told him something was wrong. He stepped toward Naomi, trying to stop her from going in but she was a step away from being inside. He stumbled in behind her, his eyes widened like a deer in headlights.    

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANSEL!! “

He was bombarded with happy birthday’s and streamers floating around the candle lit air and dimmed lights from the coffee shops tables. He tried not to cry but he’s overwhelming joy with the fact that his friends and family did remember his birthday came over him and sent his eyes into a steam of a happy tears. He covered his mouth for lack of having it open and having nothing to say so he buried his head in his hands and everyone Awe’d at his reaction. His mum stepped to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him repeatedly and tightening her hug on him and whispering happy birthday into his ear. After she let him go Easton congratulated him on the 2-1 and gave him a card that read “Surprise” And nothing else. When his sisters each handed him a card that each read “from” and “us” (one card for every two sisters, one sister holding one side of the card and the other holding the opposite.) he started to notice a pattern. His mum was next; she had the card “to”, Naomi had “you” and an unexpected person standing behind James, who had a box in his hands no larger than a cake box, had a little box in his hand. Ansel didn’t even notice the box at first due the big surprise he had gotten but the fact that the person who had attended his 21st birthday and his only birthday that he had ever attended; His father.

“Dad?” Ansel stepped closer to the man he hadn’t seen since he was about 5. He didn’t know why he had left or why on earth he had agreed to come back but he wasn’t about to question the presence. He knew his mother did hate him and neither did he. He had many reason to hate him, then again he had many reason to hate the bullies who ran him out of his hometown, yet he didn’t care about them. He knew his father had moved away from the small town due to a job transfer, not that is was an accuse but it was a reason.   A reason he didn’t get to see him until now, which was more than Ansel’ could ever ask for. “Hi, Lou.” He smiled at Ansel and opened his arms for a hug, nearly tipping over when Ansel bear hugged him the second he saw his arms move. “Champ, your present.” He cooed, patting Ansel’ shoulder. Ansel stepped back and allowed his father to hand him the box he had, untied the string and opening the box. “A key?” he raised a brow, dropping it back inside and grabbing James’s box and opening it up. “Air fresheners?” he stood there confused, and then looked around at the group of people and noticed yet another unexpected person. “Mr.Smith?” his art teacher, “Hello! What you are you doing here?” he asked, walking over and extending his hand for a shake but then got pulled in for a huge hug. A hugger, he remembered as he smiled and straightened his shirt as he detached himself from Mr.Smith.

“Ansel,” Mr.Smith said, “I’ve had the pleasure of having you in my class and lessons for a few weeks and I am honored by your presence and ambition. I have never, in my years of teaching and learning, seen such an incredibly gifted young painter as you. You remind of me of a young me, you’re an extraordinary Artist and a magical piece of art yourself. I, as the founder and owner of several charity organizations, would love to sponsor your dream of creating “One canvas One heart” project and providing you a studio facility of your own to rebuild and make your own.” He smiled and without giving Ansel a chance to reply he handed Ansel a card of his own. “Walk outside.” Naomi stopped Ansel before he could walk out of the door, “Wait! You need a blindfold!”. She tied a red scarf around his eyes and guided him outside. He stood in front of the coffee shop’s door and waited to be unfolded and show the present that took 6 cards and 2 boxed which made absolutely no sense.

Next to him he heard Naomi asking him, “ready”, he nodded his head, taking a deep breath as he felt the blindfold being lifted from his head. His eyes were still shut. “open your eyes, goof!” Naomi screamed, he thought she was more excited than him at the moment. When he opened his eyes he saw a tiny red car, sitting on the curb in front of him, it was a used car but even still, it was the best thing he had ever gotten for any birthday or any Christmas. He turned to Naomi and she automatically knew he was about to reject the car, only because he knew none of them could afford, expect Mr.Smith, who was apparently the owner of a trillion companies.  She quickly spoke before he had a chance too, “Lou-bear,” she said, ignoring the fact that Ansel’ dad, Easton and James giggled in the back and Ansel glaring at Easton and James, “you’ve been working so hard and we all thought it’s be a good idea that you finally get something you always wanted. But when Mr.Smith e-mailed me about you I knew I , uh, we couldn’t you that because you were about to get it. So, we all put together money to get you this little car. And before  you say it’s too much I can’t take it’ it’s  non-refundable so you kinda HAVE to take it” she giggled and hugged him tightly, “After all are going to need one for going back and forth from your studio!”

Ansel was still speechless, he had forgotten every word he had ever learned in the 20 minutes of seeing his father for the first time in over 15 years, being offered a sponsorship for his lifelong dream and receiving a car. He was in heaven. Naomi pulled Ansel aside after a quick speech and a “thank you” to everyone and told everyone to go inside for cake.

“I have one more surprise for you.” She said, blinking her little eye lashes at him and grabbing hold of his hand and leading him inside. “Come’on” she hurried, “Easton’s office.” She got to the door and unlocked it. The nights were turned off but she insisted on his going inside. So he did. He stepped inside and behind him Naomi plugged in a long string of Christmas lights that lit up the room, highlighting the words”Happy birthday lou!” On the wall behind Easton’s desk.”  Ansel jumped when he saw Easton chair Slowly turn but then squealed like a little girl when he was a curly haired boy in a red and black suit sitting in the chair with a very, very large bouquet of red, pink, white and again, a single coral rose in the middle. Ansel ran around the desk and hugged Emery as tight as he could. “How did you know?!” he exclaimed, not really caring for the answer but longing to hear the soft, deep raspy voice the boy had. He bit his lip and smiled as he watched as Emery spoke his name, along with Happy Birthday. He pecked his lips for a split second, “Thank you! I love it I love it I love it!” he repeated smiling at Emery and picking up the roses from the Desk where Emery had threw them in fear of getting crushed by Ansel jumping on him. Emery chuckled, “well there’s like 37 of them so it’s them.”

Ansel smirked, “No,” he leaned in to Emery’s face “You.” He kissed him. it wasn’t until then that he realized Naomi was still standing at the door. He looked up and saw her with Emery’s camera, snapping photos of the two. “Alright you guys, let’s go party.”Ansel left the roses of the desk and grabbed Emery’s hand walking, towards the door, “oh! Wait!” Emery jogged back behind the desk, “ my sister and I made this for you.” He handed Ansel a paper wrapped present with string ribbons around it. Ansel tore away the paper and tossed the ribbons somewhere in the air and never thought twice about it. “Our pictures! By our tree!” he excitedly said, looking thought the pages of the scrapbooks and hugged Emery. “Yeah, my sister did most of it. She really good at these things.” he chuckled.  “Ansel! Emery!” Don’t make me go get you!” Naomi called from other room. The two boys giggled like children and walked outside side together, grabbing drinks that they were handed and taking sips. Ansel tugged a Emery to accompany him over to his mother.  “Mum, This is Emery. Emery this is my mum.”

“Pleasure to meet you, dear.” Ansel’ mum reached out of a hand shake. Emery reached out, gently shook his mother’s hand and bend over as he brought up her hand to meet his lips for a peck. “Pleasure’s entirely mine, ma’am.” She giggled and waved them off, turning back to her ex-husband and a tall glass of wine for each of them.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Ansel walked over to the table where his sisters where, they were all eating cake and laughing at the way Easton and James where dancing like chickens (or at least that’s what it looked like) on the “dance-floor” next to them. “Girls this is my friend Emery. Emery these are the girl’s.” he blushed when he saw Emery smiled at him and introduce himself to his sisters. “Alright, come on.” Ansel tugged, Walking over to an empty table and sitting down beside Emery. Ansel was about to finally start a conversation when Naomi came a dragged them both to the dance floor, along with everyone else, and made everyone dance. Drinks were spilling, music was blasting and in all honestly Ansel couldn’t have imagine a better way to spend it birthday with the few people he loved and a little extra.

After the night died down and Easton and James had escaped to god knows where, Declan and Naomi where walking about Edgar Allen Poe and the real meaning and symbolism of “The Raven”, Ansel mum and dad and called a cab for themselves, his mum taking the girls back home and his dad going back to a hotel for the night, he waved everyone goodbye and thanked them for coming and thanking them a million times more the gifts. Ansel, along as Emery, were buzzed out of their minds, laughing at anything they said and drinking between every few words.

“Heyy! W-wanna goo bak too mah plaiss?”, Ansel slurred, whispering to Emery. Emery nodded, grabbing Ansel’ scrapbook and his phone from the table. Ansel went back to Easton’s office, where he had discovered where Easton and James had run off too. James was sitting on Easton’s Lap, legs wrapped around him and tongue half way down Easton’s throat. “whoa” he chuckled, they didn’t care to stop, “oh, weel don let me innerupt” he laughed, grabbing his flowers and walking out, closing the door behind him.

He walked over to Emery and gesture him to come along with him. “Come on.” Slurred, walking hand in hand with Emery out of the shop and on the way to the apartment.


	9. Chapter 9

Staggering through the midnight cool breeze, Emery and Ansel laughed and stumbled from one side of the street to the other. Once every so often stopping to catch their alcohol riddled breath and resting their lungs from the icy breeze of the October night. Ansel was walking hand in hand with Emery when he noticed that the cheap 10 dollar liquor that had been steaming up and though his blood steam was being to seep down into the depths of his mind, along with Emery’s and the cool winds of the blowing breeze  were soothing his soul and calming his nights’ high. He glanced over to Emery and without a beat more he stopped; starring the beautiful young man standing next to him, admiring the curves of the man’s face; the man he had fallen for, touching his skin and gripping his tiny clammy hand, then once more; without a beat he kissed him. It wasn’t like any other kiss he had, not even with Emery. The kiss was long and breathy; their drunken and hot breath’s mixing into one and for a moment it had seemed as though the 10 dollar liquor had turned into a fine aged wine, deep and dark with the mysteries of the secrets held within the vessels of those who were brave enough to keep them. They’re lips grazed against each other after briefly parting between a set of kisses, their nosed brushed together from the constant shift in their necks from being tilted from side to the other. Neither Ansel nor Emery had realized that the pulchritudinous entanglement their kiss that left them in had resulted in Emery being pushed up against a chain screen fence that covered the streaked glass windows of the shops on the quiet, lonely streets they walked along.

Ansel stopped in mid kiss; looking up and meeting Emery’s gaze. “I’m drunk.”, he paused licking his lips and smirking, “and you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.” Emery whimpered, pressing his lips together as they curled in under his teeth after he tasted the lingering kiss Ansel had so rudely interrupted. He smiled, and huffed out a “Hm” in hopes of hearing Ansel’ss sweet, drunkenly raspy voice again. “The best part is; you’re the same person I see when I’m sober.” He chuckled as his new and briefly found confidence surged through him as they continued to walk down the empty, dimly lit streets After Emery had replied, “You’re crazy” then he paused and lightly rubbed his nose against Ansel’s and drowned with the warm sinful liquid that surfaced the truths of his mind he replied again, “and I love it”.

Ansel kissed Emery’s hand repeatedly as they weaved through the downtown streets and back to Ansel’s apartment. Once they got they there Emery was at the point of being a romantic drunk; so as he had scene in many movies, he started to pick a cake that was left by Naomi when she had dropped of Ansel’s car and had yet again escaped with Mr.Smith to ends of his private Library that, coincidently, contained nothing less than her favorites and nothing less than what she had always craved to read.

From the kitchen where the cake had been toss on the counter, Emery took a finger scoop of chocolate icing from the Oreo flavored stacked pastry and stuck his finger in his mouth and slowly pulling it out, glancing and smirked at Ansel while licking his soft pink lips. “What got into you?” Ansel Asked, smirking back at Emery who was teasing with his dimple that cratered in when he smiled at him. Emery shook his head softly, also most as if he was shaking his emotions from one to the other by a head swing.  “Dance with me!” he shouted, running over the speakers he spotted on top of the TV stand and plugging his phone in a blast “My Heroin” by The Maine that was programmed into a playlist. He grabbed Ansel and began to dance around the living room, arm and arm with Ansel, Shouting the lyrics to the song into the festive air, microscopically head banging with his curls bouncing around his head to the sound of the guitar rumbling with deepening roar surging through his veins and blood stream.

I'm feeling pretty dirty baby

Forgive my sins.

I get the feeling you can save me honey,

My heroine.

Ansel popped open another bottle of 2008 Merlot red wine, then danced over to Emery. Emery grabbed the bottle from Ansel’s grasp, chugging a gulp and laughing right after. He felt his eyes heavy and body even heavier, but the liquor sweated out him over the course of the entire play list finishing with “Pumpin’ blood” from Nonono and collapsing onto the couch, tipping over from joyous laughter and spilling wine on the dark beige carpet. “I’m sorry!” Emery shouted, and then giggled. Ansel laughed along with him and dismissed the obvious accident and plopped down next to him. This time he snatched the bottle, holding it by the neck and taking a drink. Emery started to feel the heat from the drinks and opened up the sliding glass door to the balcony, turning around to see Ansel and catching sight of his shining smile and starlight eyes.

Emery’s playlist was at its end; Playing the final song which was only put there because he was in a rush and didn’t dropped it in the first playlist he saw and never bothered to edit it. He cheeks grew red when the seductive melody of the music started to play.

“You listen to John Mayer?” Ansel asked, standing up and swaying over to Emery, pushing the coffee table out of the way. “Yeah…” Emery quietly replied, blushing and covering his face from any further embarrassment. “Oh! Don’t get shy on me now… you were so confident earlier!” Ansel chuckled. Emery straightened out and inched closer to Ansel. He smirked, grabbing Ansel’s hand and pulling him closer to his body. He extended out his hand and smiled, “dance with me.” he said almost seductively but sweetly. With the music of John Mayer’s “Slow dancing in a burning room” Emery held Ansel and they swayed from side to side, slowing turning and tangling themselves up in a blanket drunken lust which was ironically the purest thing they have ever felt.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to

So I can feel you in my arms.

 Emery, who was humming along to the song’s lyrics, began to take larger steps, turning from one side of the circle they were in to the other and smiling at Ansel when the parted for a brief second then pressed back together in each other’s chest.

We're going down,

And you can see it too.

We're going down,

And you know that we're doomed.

My dear,

We're slow dancing in a burning room.

“You’re a good dancer.” Ansel whispered, snuggling closer to the crook of Emery’s neck. Ansel felt a shutter from Emery after leaving a small but intimate kiss on his neck then breathing in so that the wetness form the kiss chilled him. Emery chuckled. “Thank you” he whispered back, stepping back and turning Ansel then dipping him while still entangled in his arms. Emery kissed Ansel’s nose then swung him back up to connect bodies, resting his hand on the curve of Ansel’s waist and the other supporting Ansel right hand on his left. They continued to dance to song with lovely smiles on their drunken face. Emery had never felt so loved and Ansel had never felt so free.

“You should paint us dancing” Emery whispered. “Love, no colors in the world would do justice to you or your dancing.”  They laughed together, “yeah right” Emery said, kissing Ansel’s neck softly.

Baby you’re the only light I ever saw.

When the music faded the continued to sway in each other’s presence, their eyes were sweetly shut, allow them to feel the energy from the other as they grew closer and closer to each other without speaking award Ansel had drifted into the smell of Emery’s expensive Italian cologne and the mixed smells of his own floating around them while lingering with the quite, warm air breezing in from the balcony doorway.

Ansel looked up from the warmth off Emery’s shoulder, still stepping to the beat of their breaths, looking at Emery as if it were the first time. “Tell me about you. Tell me about you and Killian.” He muttered, shifting his eyes from Emery’s eyes to his lips then back up again.

Emery, confused and still pretty drunk, replied, “But I have.”

Ansel stopped for a moment, exhaling a short breathe through his nose and fluttering his eyes. “No, Not everything. I can’t help you if I don’t know everything.” He replied, returning to his position on shoulder and dancing again; this time only side to side. “You don’t need to know. I’m fine. I don’t want you getting hurt. I can’t let you get hurt.” Emery said, resting his head against Ansel’s.

Ansel, frustrated with Emery’s refusal to let him help, stepped away from him, far enough to lift Emery’s shirt and expose a patch of bruises left on his right hip and just below his rib cage. The bruises were old and had already started to fade back to the original skin color.  “Does this look like you’re fine?!” Ansel shouted. “You have no idea who or what you’re dealing with! He’ll kill you! You can’t get rid of him Ansel. I am sorry! I’m so sorry I can’t be with you. I want to, god I want to! But I can’t. He’ll hurt you. Can’t you see? I’m his. Whether you like it or not. Whether I like it or not. The only way out of this is If he magically goes away, and he won’t.” Emery replied, almost crying. His voice had shattered like broken glass but then sharpened like blade across Ansel’s throat.

Ansel stood there silent, before sitting down on the recliner behind him. He inhaled then sighed. “Then I won’t help you. I can’t help you. It’s not the only way. You don’t want to leave him.” he stood from the recliner as he felt the air grow thicker with each passing word and breath. “Go home. Go home to your corrupt cop. You’re fucking prison guard! You’re precious truck and old fashion camera. Let’s see how long you’ll get to use them.”  Ansel began to walk to his bedroom. His cheeks were flushed and pink and riddled with tears streaming down like fallen stars. Emery caught Ansel’s wrist and pulled him toward him; wrapping his lengthy muscular arms around him. He contemplated telling him that he loved him. But he couldn’t just yet. He thought it was too soon, too fast, but he wondered if it really was too soon too fast considering that he had already felt in love with Ansel.

“I’ll tell you.” Emery whispered.

Ansel sniffled and looked up. “No. I’m sorry. I- you don’t have to.” He said, looking into Emery’s teary eyes. Emery shook his head. “You’re right.” He sighed. “It’s not the only way.”

“Come on.” Emery said, taking Ansel hand and pointing to the bedroom. Ansel nodded then guided Emery to his bedroom.  Due to the heat of their bodies and the exercise they just had, they both stripped down to their boxers and socks but neither of them expected anything more than an innocent cuddle. Ansel lay in the middle of the bed, waiting for Emery to join him. Emery, thought for a moment, and then dimmed the light the dial on the wall. “So, that’s what that does.” Ansel mumbled, watching Emery walk over to the window. Emery pulled the curtains to the ends of the rod above the top of the window then pulled the blinds up. “I want to see the star’s.” he said, turning to Ansel and crawling into bed. Ansel opened up his arms so that Emery could snuggle next to him.

“Where do I start?” He asked, while he wiggled closer to his chest and he wrapped his arm around to the small of Ansel’s back. “And before I do I must tell you I’m a very bad story teller.”

“Why did you leave?” Ansel replied.

“I left because I hated my dad. He hated me. Well, he hated that I was gay; am gay. He tried to change me and when he realized he couldn’t; he started drinking hoping if the liquor changed every aspect other everything else in his life maybe it would change me too. But he turned into a mean fucking drunk. Killian is a puppy compared to him. i-“ he paused. “I almost died in that house Lou. I couldn’t anymore. I know there are people that have it worse than I did but I wasn’t strong enough to stay there. So one night, I had had enough, so I ran away. I packed my camera, two shirts, a little photo album of my sister and mom and snuck a few hundred from my dad’s wallet then left. I didn’t go far; I went to the next town over and stayed with a friend for a couple months. I don’t look back until my mom hunted me down and told me his new punching bag was my sister. I tried stop him but he just kept swinging. He was drunk off his ass and sips away from poisoning himself to death. And then, after looking up from his drunken haze, he finally came to realize I was in the house. I was screaming at him to let my sister go but the only thing he saw was a chance to turn his angry out on me.” Emery took a deep, shaky breath, exhaling like he was punched in the gut. “He had a revolver in his hand and was a second and blink away from pulling the trigger before he changed his mind. A moment later he saw that he thought it’d be better to have a bullet as his last supper, until my mom got in the way and she was left with a bullet lodged in her left shoulder. The bullet bounced around in her arm before stopping just below her collarbone. My father was taken to jail for attempted murder and child abuse. To be honest that day still doesn’t make sense to me. If he wanted to kill me why didn’t he? Why did he try to off himself? I regret leaving.” Emery stopped and covered him face as he whimpered. “I should’ve stayed there. I should’ve protected them.” He cried into his palm.

“No. you could’ve died. No! No, baby, listen.” Ansel leaned up, hugging Emery and repeatedly kissing the side of his face. “You did what you had to. You went back and that’s what matters.” He kissed Emery’s temple, trying to calm him down. “You saved your sister and your mom. Without you they possibly wouldn’t be here. And I know you haven’t survived Killian all by yourself. You did the right thing in leaving but you also did the right thing in going back.” Emery nodded his head then took a deep breath. After a few minutes Emery was ok to speak again, taking another deep breath.

“After he was officially locked but my mother decided it was time for me to put my camera to use. So I left because my mom thought I could actually get a job taking photos. She literally had to kick me out.” He chuckled, wiping away a tear running down his cheek. “So I came here. I tried to get a job but no one was hiring. And with no job I couldn’t find a place so I stayed in shelter homes. I didn’t want to go home just so I could tell my mom I failed. I wanted to bring her home something she could be proud of. Someone she could be proud of.” Emery looked at the window and out to the stars and smiled. He looked down at Ansel and grinned “Then, a miracle happened.”

Ansel quietly rolled his eyes.

“One night, when I was sleeping on a staircase, I was woken up by some guy asking me if I was still alive. Which was stupid question considering I was snoring? Anyway, that guy was Killian. He wasn’t always mean. To be honest, when we met it was like he was prince charming. He took me in to his home, feed me, and bought me clothes. All that stuff. Of course I wanted to repay him; I didn’t like the idea of being a kind of stray so I cleaned his house while he was at work. He was so sweet and caring; he bought me flowers every day. He had dinner made for us, he never rose is voice at me. Ever. We cuddle on the couch on Sundays, He’d taken a day off of work every few weeks so we could go up the outlets and shop for the house. It was perfect. But then, a few months after our first anniversary he started getting very protective over whom I was talking to. First it was my sister; she owns a wet room a few blocks from your coffee shop actually. He thought I was going over there to see a supposed guy who I was supposedly cheating on him with. Then it was my family all together. I wasn’t allow to see my family without him and I couldn’t see them if he had plans; he always had plans.”

Ansel raised a brow, “wait, aren’t you seeing them, like, now?”  He asked, looking up at Emery.

Emery chuckled, “Well yes, but that half an excuse by the way.” Emery kissed Ansel nose, “I asked if I can go see them and he said ‘yeah sure’, later he told me to go by myself because he had a business meeting with some bloke about a shop or something. He invests in tiny businesses around the neighborhood. None of them last long though.”, Emery slightly shrugged.

Ansel nodded and sat up to face to Emery, sitting ‘criss-cross apple sauce’ as Emery giggled to him. Ansel looked so tiny to Emery. All he wanted to do was scoop him up in his arms and hold him till the stars above them burned out.

“An-Um- After cutting me off from my family he still thought I was doing something behind his back so he thought he could beat it out of me. And eventually he thought he could everything out of me.”

Ansel placed his hand over Emery’s. “I’m good, I’m good.” Emery said in reply.

He continued, “There’s good days, we still cuddle on the couch. And occasionally go shopping sometimes we joke around the house, but nothing’s the same. He completely changed.” Emery thought for a moment, “I used to make excused to my family until they just gave up on believing me and just knew the truth. My sister kicked him out of the house and when I got home he was screaming me about taking her side when I reality was I was telling her to stop. That night I ended up in the hospital with a fracture rib and a broken forearm. That’s what I get for defending myself.” He scoffed and shook his head, “the next day he came home with 4 foot teddy bear, flowers and a watch. A watch. That’s how I got my truck; after one of our fights. But when he started getting really strict he told me to sell it… so technically I did; to my mom. I keep in an old garage one of my neighbors own. They know about Killian, they saw me one morning and insisted on helping me.”

“Wh-what happened the day you came in…” Ansel asked shyly.

Emery looked at him and turned away to the window again, “Um. I tried to leave. We had had another fight and this time it was like my dad was in his body. He does this stupid thing where if I forget to call or tell him on going to be out he takes a shot of the hardest liquor he has every 5 minutes I’m out. He was piss drunk and angry that I got scared and ran. I walked around back streets till morning, kind of got lost; I was headed towards my sisters’ when I found the coffee shop. It’s in a corner so I thought I’d be safe there but when I walked out he was there. I don’t know how he found me, probably tracked my phone. Fucking detective skills. Surprisingly the beating I got for that wasn’t that bad. I got little bruises and bumped but that was it”

“Why aren’t you scared of him? or at least sound like it?” Ansel asked, Emery toned was unusually calm as if he was telling a story about bumping into an old friend in a grocery store.

Emery chuckled, “because I’m not anymore. I was, I used to fear him to the ends of the earth but not anymore. As the great Frank Herbert one said: ‘I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and though me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eyes to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.’” He smiled at Ansel. “I don’t need to be afraid anymore. I only need you. My family and you.”

Ansel blushed, and lay back down with Emery. Emery once again wrapped him in his arms. “How come you’re the one that needs to be projected and I’m in your arms?” Ansel tittered.

Emery snickered, “because you like to act like you’re big and bad but you’re a softy. I can protect you if you let me. I’m sure a big macho man like you wouldn’t need protecting but I promise you; Killian is no one to mess with. He will hurt you, Ansel. He doesn’t care about anyone or anything. I don’t want you to get hurt. I can’t let you get hurt. I’m not making the same mistake twice.”

Ansel nodded, his eyes fluttering from worry. “ok. But if he hurts you you’ll need to worry about him and not me.” Emery smirked, “alright, big guy. Enough about him. How was your birthday?”

“Perfect.” Ansel replied, kissing Emery’s cheek. “Loved everything about it. Thank you.”

“I’m glad. Your gifts aren’t done coming yet.”

Ansel, surprised, sat up, “what?! What is there left to give?” Emery laughed and replied, “You’ll see.”

Emery caught sight of the clock sitting beside the bed on the nightstand. 1:54 am. “Ansel. I have to go.” He said, seconds away from getting up and getting dressed. Ansel caught his arm and asked him to stay, “I’d give all the Picassos in the world for a night with you. Please…” Emery couldn’t resist the soft blue eyes gleaming up at him. He smirked thinking that if the night sky shined with the brightness and miraculous color of his secret lovers’ eyes the world would never miss the sun.

Secret lover, he thought. He smiled. A love that’s all mine in all its beauty and grace. Surely from the heavens.

He sank back down into the dent he had created in the middle of Ansel’s bed; only this time Ansel wrapped Emery in his arms. “I can protect you if you let me.” he whispered as he slid his fingers through Emery’s curls. He smiled at the scent of green apple and grinned. Emery looked up at him and Ansel met his eyes. Ansel licked his lips before pressing them to Emery’s for a lengthy slow kiss. He giggled “you taste like cake.”

Emery bit his lip, “You taste like perfection.”

“Oh god, you’re so cheesy!” he chuckled, pecking Emery’s lips and squirming to get comfortable before drifting off to sleep minutes later.

~

30 minutes after the boys had gone to sleep, a purring sound of a phone dialing rang through an empty car. “Ok, Emery.” A man whispered, clicking the end button on the phone. The man had called Emery 5 times, before giving up and leaving a message. “Emery, I’m a few towns out. I’m coming home. Be there when I get back.”

Meanwhile Emery’s phone had vibrated off the couch and on top a pillow.

 


End file.
